Family Guy EG
by FrenchMarioBros
Summary: The Griffins have a new family member! Emily Griffin goes to live with the Griffins after her old family dies. She will have tons of adventures and moments to enjoy with her new family! Please read this!
1. S1, E1: The Newest Griffin

**A/N: Hey everyone! I'm back with another fanfiction! I've been getting into Family Guy lately, so I thought about making this fanfic. Special thanks to Family Guy Fan writer 15 for helping with some scenes! I do not own Family Guy or the OC, Emily Griffin. Emily Griffin belongs to Family Guy Fan writer 15. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 1: The Newest Griffin

* * *

It was nighttime in the town of Quahog, Rhode Island. At a rave bar, Margaret Chevapravatdumrong and her sister Joyce (Joyce Kinney) were dancing to nice raving music while drinking some beers.

"Hey Maggie", said Joyce, "I just thought of something. I bet that if we turn around, we'll find some partners to dance with and we might bang with them at the restrooms."

"Alright Joycey, you on!" Margaret replied.

"Ok, on three" Said Joyce as they both count together at the same time. "One, two, three!"

Then, they both turned around. Joyce turned around to find Bruce behind and he noticed her.

"Oh hey there." Bruce said, "How you doin' there?"

"Want to dance with me and make out?" Joyce asked Bruce.

"What? Oh no! Sorry darling, but I'm already hooked with Jeffery."

"Shut up and dance with me!" Jeffrey called out off-screen.

Meanwhile, with Margaret, she turned around to find three drunk guys, on the table. One was skinny with a huge chin, one was a slightly chubby African-American, and one was fat wearing glasses. They were drinking glasses of beer.

"Excuse me," Margaret asked, "Would any of you three want to dance and make out with me?

The three looked at her.

"Called it!" Peter cried.

"Called it!" Quagmire said before realizing that he's too late.

"God dammit!" Quagmire said.

"Then this means I'm the winner." He went to dance with Margaret.

"Didn't he just marry Lois 3 years ago?" Cleveland asked.

"I don't think she'll notice, we only came here to drink anyway." Quagmire replied.

* * *

 _15 Years Later…_

It was a rainy afternoon on 31 Spooner Street. In the Griffin family household, Stewie was watching Jolly Farm as Brian came the couch and began to write a new novel on the computer.

"Writing again, Brian?" Stewie asked.

His dog replied, "Does that seem obvious to you?

"It does," Stewie answered. "But I mean seriously, you always just write a novel. And every time you publish it, it always gets rejected every time."

"But what about 'Wish it, Want it, Do it?'" Brian asked, recalling about the time his book was a best-seller.

"That one was only for a brief time, it all went downhill after you fired me as an agent." Stewie replied, "And that you confessed to the public that you only wrote it in a day. If I were you, I would take a couple days of analyzing your story and do some rewriting in your book.

Outside the house, a black sedan came up, then two figures came up to the door and rang the doorbell.

"Could somebody get the door?" Stewie asked.

"I got it." Brian said as he got off the couch and walked to the door.

Brian opened the door to reveal Mr. Weinstein and an unfamiliar teenage girl with short blonde along with a stripe of dyed purple hair on the side, wearing a pink dress, black and purple striped stockings and black Mary-Jane shoes while she was sheltered under her umbrella.

"Mr. Weinstein, I didn't expect to see you. Who's this young lady?" Brian said.

"Hi, I'm Emily Lovegood, is your owner home?" the teenage girl greeted.

"Brian, who's at the door?" Stewie asked.

"It's Mr. Weinstein and a teenage girl named Emily Lovegood." Brian answered.

"That Jewish accountant and a girl we don't know?" Stewie questioned.

"Is Mr. Griffin home?" Mr. Weinstein asked.

The white dog then noticed a red car drove up to their driveway driven by a very familiar fat man wearing glasses, a white shirt and green pants who came out of his car.

"He is now. Hey Peter, Mr. Weinstein's here to see you!" Brian called to Peter.

Then the fat man came up to Mr. Weinstein as a woman with short red hair and a triangular nose in a size of sandwich wearing a light green shirt and beige pants came down the stairs.

"Mr. Weinstein, it's so good to see you again, who is this girl you're with?" Peter said.

"This is Emily Violet Jane Lovegood, she's your biological daughter." Mr. Weinstein declared.

The Griffins stared at her in shock.

"She WHAAAAAAAAT?!" Stewie shouted in surprise.

"I have another daughter?" Peter said.

"Peter, how did you get another daughter? Have you been cheating on me?!" Lois yelled at her husband.

"No! Lois, I would never cheat on you, honest. How would I know if I hook up with another woman? I don't remember all that." Peter confessed.

"Well, your record said that fifteen years ago, you have hooked up with another woman but you don't remember it because you were drunk." Mr. Weinstein explained.

"Oh… I didn't realize that. But still, how can it be me? It could've been someone else." Peter said.

"Well, to make you more convinced, I've got her blood test results, and it proves that you are her father." Mr. Weinstein stated as he handed a piece of paper with Emily's blood test results to Peter.

Peter looked at her results and found out that it was true.

"Holy Crap! She really is my daughter after all!" Peter exclaimed.

"Anyway, why is she here?" Lois asked.

"I'm going to be moving in because last week, my old family died in a car accident." Emily responded sadly.

"Oh my god..." Lois whispered in shock.

"You poor girl… How did this happen?" Peter sympathetically asked.

"I was on my way to Newport until some drunk frat boys, crashed into my old family's car. I was in that car accident too, but luckily, I survived. However, due to my injuries, I ended up permanently incontinent." Emily explained.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry to hear that. You are gladly welcome to stay here." Lois assured.

"But Lois, where will she sleep? There's no room for her to sleep in." Peter remarked.

"Well, for now, she will be sleeping in my piano room where I teach my piano lessons until we've added another room for her." Lois stated.

'Well I better go now, I have work tomorrow. Oh, and Mr. Griffin, once your house expansion's finished, let me know so I can have the movers bring in her stuff. Ok?" Mr. Weinstein said.

"Sure thing, Mr. Weinstein." Peter replied.

Mr. Weinstein turned to Emily.

"Emily, good luck with your new home." Mr. Weinstein said.

"Thank you, Mr. Weinstein." Emily thanked.

Mr. Weinstein left the house as Emily placed her suitcases in the middle of the floor.

"So, Emily Lovegood, or should I say 'Griffin' since I'm your father, welcome to the family. Also, this is your new mother, Lois." Peter stated.

"Pleased to meet you… Mom." Emily said.

"I am glad to have another daughter." Lois remarked.

"Not to forget she's more beautiful than Meg." Peter muttered.

"Peter..." Lois angrily murmured.

"This is our dog Brian." Peter said.

"Nice to meet you, Emily." Brian greeted.

"And this is your baby brother, Stewie." Lois said as she walked over to Stewie. She bent down to his height. "Say hello to your new sister, Stewie."

"Big deal, so what if I have another sister?" Stewie said rudely.

"Why would you say something like that?" Emily questioned.

"Well it's because I don't care and-"Stewie started to say before he noticed something about Emily. "What the deuce is this?"

Stewie held up the helm of Emily's dress and looked under it.

"Is that a diaper you're wearing?" Stewie asked.

"HEY!" Emily yelled as she made Stewie let go of her dress.

"Stewie, that's a naughty baby!" Lois scolded.

Lois picked up Stewie.

"I'm sorry for what Stewie did to you." Lois apologized.

"It's fine, Mom. This is something I better get used to." Emily assured.

"This is unbelievable, I have another sister who is fifteen and still in diapers, who would've thought I would inspect such a thing?" Stewie said to himself. "This is more hilarious than the time I stole the script for that Cuphead cartoon."

 **Cutaway**

In a Hollywood studio office in 1936, two film executives were putting a Cuphead cartoon that they made into the vault.

"Finally, our movie is complete." One of the executives said.

"In a couple of months, our masterpiece will be released and beat the competition with that Snow White movie that Walt Disney guy's making." The other executive stated.

"Want to grab a cup of Joe to celebrate?" The first executive asked.

"Hell yeah I would!" the other executive agreed.

Two executives left the vault. Then, Stewie in black heist clothes cut a hole in the vault with a blow torch and took the Cuphead films.

"In a couple of months? More like a couple of years! And this would rather be a good video game than a movie..." Stewie remarked.

 **End Cutaway**

Peter and Emily came into Chris' room.

"This is your brother, Chris." Peter said to his new daughter.

"Hi Chris," Emily greeted.

"Dad?" Chris asked quietly and excitedly to Peter. "There a hot blonde girl in my room!"

"I know there is," Peter answered. "This is Emily, she your half-sister."

"Oh, ok. Please to meet you, Emily. I guess that's nice for me to- Whaaaaat?!" Chris said before he realized that he has another half-sister.

"Is there something wrong?" Emily asked.

"I thought that you were just one of those girls I would fall in love with." Chris said in disappointment. "And it turns that you're my new half-sister..."

"Oh there there, Chris..." Peter said sympathetically. "I'm sure you'll find the right girl who like you back..."

"You could've let me exercise at the gym!" Chris snapped back.

Peter and Emily walked over to Meg's room where Meg was laying on her stomach texting on her phone.

"And over in this room is Meg, she's your ugly sister..." Peter introduced.

"Why would you call Meg ugly?" Emily asked. To Emily, she looked like a regular teenage girl.

"Because it's Meg." Peter answered. "Nobody cares about her."

"You know I can hear you." Meg said. Peter turned to Meg. "Shut up Meg."

"Hey dad," Meg asked. "Who's that with you?"

"I'm your sister, Emily." Emily replied.

"My sister?" Meg asked in surprise. "Oh… my god, I can't believe this, I have a sister!" Meg shouted excitedly.

Peter started pushing Emily away from Meg's room. "Let's move on now." Peter said.

"But I didn't even get the chance to know her." Emily answered.

"So, Emily," Peter said as the tour was finished. "What do you think of this place?"

"You know, Dad," Emily answered with a smile, "I think I'm going to like it here."

Just then, the doorbell rang. Peter went downstairs and answered the door to find his three pals, Joe, Cleveland and Quagmire under their umbrellas.

"Oh, hey guys," Peter said "What brings you here?"

"Well, we thought you'd be joining us at the Clam." Cleveland said. Quagmire says "So, what's the hold up?"

"Well, you see, guys... my new daughter moved in here." Peter explained

"New daughter?" Joe asked "Was Lois pregnant?"

"No, she wasn't..." Peter answered, "My new daughter's name is Emily... she's fifteen and she just moved in."

This made Cleveland and Quagmire think about the time when they were drunk at a rave bar and while Peter made out with a blonde woman.

"What's with the looks?" Peter questioned.

"Did I miss something?" Joe asked.

"Well, you see," Quagmire explained. "Fifteen years ago, we went to a rave bar for a drink."

"A hot blonde woman came up to ask one of us to dance and have sex." Cleveland went on.

"We called for it, but Peter went first." Quagmire said.

"That is one crazy time... and I missed out..." Joe said. "So where's that woman now?"

"That woman's dead." Peter answered.

"Wait, what?" Quagmire questioned.

"When Emily moved in an hour ago," Peter explained, "She told me her mother died in a car accident that she was in. She survived the accident but it left her permanently incontinent."

"So she ended up like me?" Joe asked.

"Except that she can still walk." Peter answered back.

Joe lowered his head in disappointment.

Just then, Emily came to the door.

"Hey Dad. Who are these people?" Emily asked.

"Emily, these are my friends. Quagmire, Cleveland, and Joe." Peter responded.

"So, Emily," Joe said "I heard that you're incontinent like me which I'd like to welcome you to the party for."

This made Emily feel embarrassed.

"Dad! Don't tell anyone about my medical condition!" Emily complained.

"Wait, I'm not supposed to tell?" Peter asked.

"Of course you're not!" Emily answered, "I didn't ask to you to tell anyone that had to wear adult diapers for my condition."

"Well, look on the plus side." Quagmire said "You'd still be gorgeous in them when you're twenty one."

Emily wasn't sure if she should thank Quagmire for what he just said. She decided to go to the piano room to unpack. Emily grabbed her suitcases and walked to the piano room.

Emily came into the Lois' piano room as she saw Lois setting up the bed on the couch.

"I hope you made yourself at home" Lois said, "Even though you are home."

She saw Emily unpacking her suitcase and noticed a picture frame that she took out.

"So, that's your old family?" Lois asked as she walked over to Emily.

"Yep," Emily replied. "That's my little half-brother, Jack. He was funny and he used to love playing football." She noted as she pointed to a little boy next to her in the picture.

"And that's my dad. Well... my step dad actually, his name was Wilbur Lovegood." Emily asserted while pointing to the man next to her in the picture.

"Lovegood," Lois said. "Just like Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter?"

"Precisely!" Emily replied. She then pointed to the woman next to her in the picture. "And that, is my biological mother, Margret Lovegood."

"She kind of looks like Joyce Kinney." Lois commented about the looks of Emily's birth mother.

"She does" Emily said, "Because Joyce is my aunt."

"Wait, are you saying that… you're Joyce Kinney's niece?" Lois asked.

"Yes, I am." the step daughter replied. "Why'd you ask?"

"I met her a couple of times, I used be a fan of your aunt until I found out she went to the same school I did." Lois replied.

"You knew my Aunt during High School?" Emily asked.

"I did" Lois answered. "But it's not how it seemed. When I was in cheerleading, my cheerleading mates and I pulled a prank on her."

"Aunt Joyce told me about that." Emily explained, "She told me she was blindfolded while the cheerleaders lead by Lois Pewterschmidt took her to the middle of the basketball court and she found herself standing with her pants down and a hot dog wiener in her mouth while the students laughed at her." Emily paused for a few seconds. "Wait, you're Lois Pewterschmidt?"

"It's true" Lois answered sadly. "I'm Lois Pewterschmidt..."

After staring at each other for 5 seconds, Emily sternly slapped Lois's face.

"Yeah, I totally deserved that..." Lois said as she rubbed her cheek.

"Why did you do that?" Emily asked.

"I was young and I didn't know what I was thinking. I did deserve being slapped for it, but karma already got to me from Joyce." Lois answered

"How did you get even?" Emily asked.

"I told her about the time I was in a porn movie and she told the public the next day." Lois replied.

The prank, the porn films, I'm so sorry..." Lois apologized as she shed a few tears.

"Well, since you already gotten even with my aunt, I forgive you." Emily reassured.

Emily grabbed Lois and pulled her into a hug. Lois was surprised at first, but hugged her back after a few seconds. The two broke the hug a minute later.

Emily continued to unpack when Lois noticed something else in her suitcase.

"Emily, is that a Sony 4K video camera?" Lois asked.

Emily took it out.

"Why, yes, it is." Emily answered. "My aunt got for me for my birthday last year. I use it to make my own video vlogs. However, I haven't updated it in a long time. But I'm thinking about making a new vlog soon."

An hour later, Emily was done unpacking. She took off her shoes, stockings and her dress and put on a purple shirt. Emily got on the couch bed and covered herself in the blankets. Lois walked to the door and turned to face Emily.

"Are you sure you'll be fine sleeping in that?" Lois asked.

"Well," Emily replied "I'm more of the type who would sleep in a shirt and pants…besides, no one would know what I'm hiding under the blanket anyway."

"I see what you mean..." Lois said as she turned off the light. "Good night, Emily."

Emily smiled as she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Morning came as Emily was sleeping peacefully. The door slowly creaked open. Stewie tiptoed into the room carrying a trumpet. Stewie jumped on the bed and blew into the trumpet. Emily jumped and woke up in surprise.

"Dammit, Stewie" Emily groaned as she got out of bed. "Why did you wake me like that?"

"Because it's funny to see that I literally just woke you up scared s***less." Stewie answered.

His word made true when Emily looked down behind her seeing that what he said was true. Lois came in.

"Stewie! Don't be mean to your new sister!" Lois scolded as she picked up Stewie.

"Damn you, vile woman!" Stewie shouted. Lois looked at Emily. "Oh my..." she said, "I guess the little guy made you mess yourself awake..."

"Yeah..." Emily replied feeling embarrassed.

Lois left the piano room, went upstairs and came into her room where Peter was there watching TV.

"Peter," Lois says as she comes in. "I've been-"

"Shush." Peter interrupted as he ate some chocolate cereal. "I'm trying to watch 'Thomas Returns to the Magic Railroad' starring Rob Schneider."

 **Cutaway to TV**

Thomas the Tank Engine came up to Rob Schneider.

"Mr. Conductor!" Thomas called out. "The Evil Diesel is back! What should we do?"

Rob Schneider did some thinking. "You want me to put some weed in your furnace?" Rob asked.

Thomas's eyes widened in shock.

"What?" Thomas questioned.

 **End Cutaway**

Suddenly, the TV got turned off by Lois.

"Peter, this is serious." Lois said sternly.

"All right, Lois. What is it that's so important?" Peter asked as he turned to face Lois.

"It's about Emily," Lois answered. "If she's going to live here, she's going to need a proper bedroom."

"But where can we find one?" Peter asked. "We don't have a guest room…. unless we kick Meg out and dump out all her stuff."

"No, Peter, we are not doing that." Lois objected as she crossed her arms.

"Awwww... come on!" Peter whined "That's the best suggestion ever!"

"We are not kicking out Meg, and that's final!" Lois said strictly.

"Alright..." Peter sighed "So, if we won't kick out Meg, then where will Emily sleep?"

Lois did some thinking. Then, an idea popped up in her head.

"You know what, Peter? Maybe we could set up her room in the basement... even though the washing machines will be there, we can still make it into a suitable bedroom for Emily. Later today, I'm going to call Mr. Weinstein so he can have the movers bring in her stuff from her old house." Lois explained.

"And Peter," Lois went on, "Don't let Emily know until the room is done."

"Got it." Peter promised.

* * *

 _One Week Later…_

Emily was sitting on the couch watching TV.

"We now return to Veggie Tales: Atheists Edition." The TV announcer announced.

 **Cutaway to TV**

Bob and Larry were standing next to Junior in bed.

"Bob?" Junior asked the tomato. "Where's God when I'm scared?"

"To be honest..." Bob confessed, "We found out that there is no God, he never existed at all..."

"What?!" Junior shouted in horror.

"We're just a bunch of vegetables who were made to be eaten by animals..." Bob stated.

"We found out by watching 'Sausage Party'." Larry said.

 **End Cutaway**

"This is pretty messed up" Emily commented as she turned off the TV.

Just then, Peter came in the room.

"Hey Emily." Peter said.

"Hey Dad, what's up?" Emily replied.

"I got a surprise for you." Peter said.

Emily perked up.

"Really?" She said. "A surprise? For me?"

"That's right." Peter responded, "Close your eyes and I'll show you."

Emily did so as Peter covered her eyes.

"Now, no peeking" Peter reminded.

He guided Emily to the basement door.

"Careful now, we're going down the stairs." He advised as he and Emily slowly walked down the stairs. Once they reached the bottom of the stairs, Peter stopped walking. "Alright, now stop." He said. Emily stopped while Peter moved his hands off her eyes.

"You may open up your eyes now." Peter noted. Emily opened her eyes to see Brian, Chris, Meg, Lois and Stewie. "Surprise!" They all shouted. Emily looked around to see that she has her own bedroom built in the basement. It had some Madonna posters from the 80s, her own bed, and her PC computer on the desk.

"My god, is that my-?" Emily started to say.

"It sure is, Emily" Lois answered, "Your very own room."

"And is that my old bed?" Emily exclaimed. "Oh, how I missed it so..."

"And you even got your own bathroom" Peter informed, "Except that there's no toilet because, well... you know."

"I understand, dad." Emily said and brought the whole family into a group hug.

"Thank you so much." Emily thanked.

As they were all group hugging, Stewie began to lift the back helm of Emily's skirt. Brian slapped Stewie's hand forcing him to let go. Stewie glared at Brian before hugging Emily.

* * *

 **The End**

* * *

A/N: Well, that's it for Episode 1! It might not look like much, but hey, it's a start! The next chapters will be better! Well, see you next chapter! Please review!


	2. S1, E2: SteWiePie

**A/N: Hey everyone! Here's another chapter of Family Guy EG! Special thanks to Family Guy Fan writer 15 for helping with this chapter! I hope you like it! I do not own Family Guy or the OC, Emily Griffin. Emily Griffin belongs to Family Guy Fan writer 15. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 2: SteWiePie

* * *

Emily was sleeping peacefully in her bed in the basement. Just then, her alarm clock rang and Emily hit the snooze button. She got up and yawned. She walked to the bathroom and closed the door. She turned on the shower and went in. Emily came out of the shower wrapped in her towel. She grabbed her toothbrush and began brushing her teeth. Then, she opened the bathroom door and put on her usual pink dress, her striped stockings, a clean diaper, and her black Mary Janes. She then walked to her nightstand and put on her necklace. She picked up her video camera and pressed record.

"What's up, Rhode Island?" Emily said from her camera's point of view. "Emily Griffin here posting up a vlog. Now you're probably wondering why I'm now called Griffin. Well, here's the reason why. I found out my dad, Wilbur Lovegood wasn't my biological dad. And a few weeks ago, my old family died in a drunk driving car crash I was in. The drunk drivers were college jocks at Brown University by the way. So, I am now living with my real biological father and his family."

As she talked to her camera, she walked upstairs from her basement, and up the living room stairs, she then came into Stewie's room.

"This is my little brother, Stewie. Say hi, Stewie." Emily said as she walked up to Stewie.

"D'ah!" Stewie gasped. "What the deuce are you doing?'

"I'm making a video blog, Stewie." She replied. "And I smell someone has soiled himself."

"Looks like you need to get changed." Emily said as she carried Stewie to the changing table and started to unzip his pajamas.

"What? Change me? In front of your camera?" Stewie said indignantly.

"Don't worry, I'll edit this part out once I'm done with my vlog." Emily said.

"You better." Stewie muttered. "I know for a fact, that babies hate getting changed on camera."

 **Cutaway**

In a studio, a commercial for Pampers was being filmed. An actress got into her position as she held her baby who was being used for the commercial.

"And…action!" the director yelled.

"Let's go to the park today, sweetie. But first, let's get you changed." The actress said as she walked to a table and started to change the baby's diaper.

As soon as she undid the straps on the diaper, the baby started to feel uncomfortable. The baby turned to the director.

"Do we really have to film this?" the baby asked.

 **End Cutaway**

Emily walked downstairs with Stewie in her arms all dressed.

"We're now heading downstairs to get some breakfast with my family, I'm sure that- Stewie!" Emily said to the camera until she saw Stewie holding her skirt's helm exposing her undergarment.

"And did you viewers know that Emily is in a diaper?" Stewie asked. "Would you knock that off?" Emily said as she turned off the camera and left her camera's point of view. "I am certainly gonna edit this scene."

Emily entered the kitchen to see Lois, Peter, Chris, and Meg sitting at the table.

"This is my new family." Emily stated to the camera.

"Oh hey Emily," Lois said as she handed Emily some ham, eggs and sausages, "Doing your vlog I see?"

"Yep. This is my new mother, Lois." Emily said as she placed Stewie in his high chair. "Say hi to the camera, mom."

Lois waved at the camera. Emily turned the camera to Meg.

"This is my half-sister, Meg Griffin." Emily introduced.

"How do you do viewers?" Meg asked to the camera.

"And that's my other half-brother, Chris" Emily said as she turns the camera to Chris and all Chris was doing is picking his nose.

"Chris! Don't do that in front of the camera!" Emily shouted.

"Chris, stop that this instant!" Lois said.

"Sorry." Chris apologized.

Emily turned the camera to Peter.

"And this is my biological father, Peter Griffin." Emily said.

"Hey Emily, have you told the guys what everyone heard?" Peter asked

"Wait, heard what, Dad?" Emily asked.

"Emily wait, DON'T DO IT!" Stewie shouted, warning Emily.

Suddenly, Peter stood up from his chair and started dancing.

"A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word, a-well-a, bird, bird, bird, well, the bird is the word, a-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word, a-well-a, don't you know about the bird, well, everybody knows that the bird is the word, a-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word!" Peter sang.

"Uh... Not again!" Stewie groaned as Peter kept singing.

"You just had to ask... didn't you?" Brian said

"Sorry. I guess I'll end the vlog there." Emily said just as she was about to sign off.

"Wait," Brian said. "What about me?"

"Oh yeah, sorry. And this is my dog, Brian." Emily said.

"How do you do?" Brian said to the camera "I'm Brian Griffin. If you're looking for someone who can help you write a novel or come up with a script, then I'm the dog you're looking for."

"Don't advertise yourself, Bri." Stewie said as Emily turned off the camera and put the camera on the counter.

Emily was nervous. Today was her first day at James Woods High and she was worried about what could happen. Lois saw Emily shaking in her chair.

"What's wrong, Emily? Are you nervous?" Lois asked.

"Very." Emily replied.

"First time?" Lois asked.

"I've been nervous lots of times." Emily said.

"It's about your condition isn't it?" Chris asked

Emily blushed in embarrassment.

"Chris!" Lois scolded.

"No, mom. He's right. That's why I'm nervous." Emily said. "What if someone would notice me when I crap myself? How will I get changed without being noticed?"

"She has a point there." Stewie said.

"Don't worry honey. It will be fine. If something goes wrong, Chris and Meg will be there for you." Lois reassured.

"Thanks, mom." Emily said with a smile.

"And we'll try to make sure you won't be embarrassed." Lois put in.

"But not as much embarrassing than Stewie's alone time." Brian said.

 **Cutaway**

Stewie's bedroom is dimmed with pink lights with a disco ball spinning on the ceiling while Stewie was dressed as a 1980s teenage girl.

"I come home in the morning light and Lois says 'when you gonna live your life right?' Oh, Lois dear, you know you're not the fortunate one. 'Cause Stewie, wants to have fun. Yes, Stewie just wants to have fun. The phone rings in the middle of the night and Brian yells, 'what you gonna do with your life'...-

Just as Brian's name was said, the dog he mentioned turned on the lights which made the music stop. Stewie looked back after he noticed that the music stopped and saw Brian with a confused look. "Um..." Stewie said nervously. "It's not what it looks like."

 **End Cutaway**

The Griffin family car drove up to the front of James Woods High School. Emily, Chris, and Meg jumped out of the car.

"Bye, kids! Have a great day!" Lois shouted as she drove off.

"Well, here goes." Emily whispered as she, Chris, and Meg entered the school.

"Welcome to James Woods High Emily." Meg stated.

"This school doesn't look half bad." Emily said.

""Well, look who showed up." said a voice that was familiar to both Meg and Emily.

"Oh no..." Meg said nervously.

"Well, if it isn't Connie D'Amico." Emily remarked.

"Wait, you know her?" Meg asked.

"Of course I do, she and her classmates once visited my old school." Emily answered.

"What are you doing here, Lovegood?" Connie asked in a mocking manner. "I thought you were still in Providence."

"Well, for your information, D'Amico," Emily remarked. "I just moved to this neighborhood. And it's 'Griffin' now."

"Wait, 'Griffin'?" Connie asked, confused. "Did your mom get like a divorce or something?"

"No, my old family died in a car accident so I moved in with the Griffins." Emily answered.

"Wow..." Connie said, shocked.

"This is like totally awkward..." Gina said.

"Also, that means that Meg is now my sister." Emily said as she hugged Meg.

"What? Ew..." Connie said, disgusted. "You should be hanging out with the ugly ones."

"You better watch who you're calling ugly." Emily snapped. "Because if you call someone that, that makes you a cold-hearted b****."

"Like, how dare you, Emily?" Connie said, feeling offended from what Emily said. "You should realize that you're with those who are out place."

"Hey, popularly isn't everything, D'Amico." Emily said back. "What matters is how they feel on the inside. You're just being selfish about how you look, and that's why you're a cold, heartless whore."

Connie just gave Emily a sneering look.

"Come on, girls," Connie said to her colleagues. "She's not worth the trouble..."

Connie and her colleagues walked away.

"Wow...no one has stood up for me like that." Meg stated. "Thanks, Emily."

"No problem. Now, let's go. Don't wanna be late for class." Emily said.

Meg and Emily walked down the hallways to their classes.

* * *

Back at the Griffin household, Stewie was just about to watch his favorite show 'The Cadwalliders of Essex' when he noticed Emily's camera on the counter.

"Hmm. Emily must have left it there when she finished her vlog." Stewie said to himself.

"I wonder what's on her mind..." Stewie speculated as he browsed to see what Emily recorded.

Most of Emily's videos were vlogs, some of them were with her old family.

"This stuff is boring..." Stewie said.

"I think I should give these video some Stewie touches..." He said while smirking.

Stewie ran downstairs to the basement. Stewie opened the closet and started going through Emily's clothes. He pulled out one of her pink dresses and put it on albeit the dress was too big for him to wear. He slipped on a pair of her stockings and shoes. Then, Stewie put a blonde wig on his head. He walked up to the nightstand and propped up the camera. He turned on the camera and took a few steps back.

"Good morning, Quahog!" Stewie said while changing his voice to try and sound like Emily. "Emily Griffin here with some more updates and such."

"First off, I have a condition that makes me wear diapers." Stewie said as he trotted around.

Suddenly, Stewie tripped on the skirt.

"Ow! Damn it!" Stewie shouted as he hit the ground.

"Maybe I should try take two..." Stewie said to himself as he walked to the nightstand.

* * *

Back at school, Emily was getting lunch with Meg. Meg was giving Emily tips on how to survive in the school.

"Does this school have a library?" Emily asked.

"Yes, but I wouldn't go in there." Meg said. Emily got confused.

"Why not?" Emily asked, raising an eyebrow.

"The breakfast club's having detention." Meg explained.

 **Cutaway**

Inside the library, 'The Breakfast Club' was having detention. But they weren't the teenagers from the movie. Instead, they were cereal mascots. There were many cigarettes and blunts on the table where they were sitting.

"Hey man, I've been wondering..." Toucan Sam asked. "Why are we here?"

"Well... it's just that-... It's just-..." Tony the Tiger said as he tried to remember the answer to that question. "You know what, I lost my train of thought..."

 **End Cutaway**

"I honestly don't know why those guys are still here." Meg said.

They walked up to a table where Meg's friends were sitting.

"Hey Meg," Patty said. "Who's your new friend?"

"This is Emily. She's actually my half-sister." Meg replied.

Patty, Ruth, and Esther gasped in surprise.

"You didn't tell us you have a half-sister." Ruth said.

"I didn't know until last week." Meg noted.

She turned to Emily.

"Emily," Meg said. "I would like you to meet my friends, this is Patty, Ruth, and that's Esther."

"How do you do?" Emily greeted.

"So, Meg," Patty asked. "How did you find out that she was your sister?"

"She moved in after her old parents died in a car crash." Meg answered. This got attention to some of the other students in the cafeteria.

"Oops…probably shouldn't have said that out loud..." Meg whispered to Emily.

"Did I just hear someone mention about someone dying in a car crash?" A voice said.

Meg and Emily turned around to see Principal Shephard standing a few inches behind them.

"Uh oh..." Emily muttered as she took a few steps back fearfully.

"So, you must be new here." Principal Shepard said. "Who might you be?"

"Emily Griffin?" She answered.

"Oh, of course." Principal Shepard said. "You're the one who has incontinence."

This made Emily blush as she wet her undergarment, though no one noticed.

"Um, Principal Shepard." Meg called his name.

"Yes, Meg?" Principal Shepard questioned.

"Emily prefers to keep that information private." Meg informed.

"I didn't ask for your opinion, Meg." Principal Shepard replied. "You want to end up joining the breakfast club?"

"No, Principal Shepard." Meg denied.

"That's what I thought." Principal Shepard said.

The principal left as Meg's friends turned to Emily.

"Why didn't you tell us that couldn't control your bowels?" Ruth asked.

"I prefer to keep it private..." Emily replied, feeling embarrassed.

"After what the principal said." Emily muttered. "I've just wet myself feeling embarrassed..."

"What...?" Patty questioned.

"Oh dear..." Esther whispered.

"You need a change?" Meg asked quietly.

Emily sadly nodded and Meg just sighed.

"Come with me Emily..." Meg said.

"I feel like such a basket case..." Emily said as Meg was taking Emily to the restroom.

"Now why would you say that?" Meg asked. "My friends and I are mostly basket cases."

Meg and Emily walked into an empty stall. Meg closed and locked the stall door. As Meg put a new undergarment on Emily, Emily and Meg continued their conversation.

"I mean, I wanted to be part of the popular kids because I wanted to be well... likable." Meg stated.

"And you got rejected because...?" Emily asked.

"I've always end up rejected" Meg answered. "It's either because of my glasses, or my hat, or because they think I'm fat and unsexy."

"Is that all?" Emily asked her sister.

"Yeah, pretty much." Meg answered.

"Well, I find all of it a bunch of bullcrap." Emily said.

Meg raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"What do you mean?" Meg asked.

"I mean, why would they say things anti-social to you? Shouldn't our teachers or Principal Shepard help you with these situations?" Emily questioned.

"They really don't care about me, honestly." Meg replied sadly.

"What?" Emily said with shock as she and Meg walked out of the stall. "That's terrible! Then they're the ones who should be basket cases. My old school has taught me to never be mean and bully anyone. Pretty or not."

"I think it's time that we teach Connie a lesson she'll never forget." Emily stated.

"I do like your enthusiasm..." Meg said. "But the question is... how?"

"Leave that to me." Emily answered. "After school, we'll start with one of her colleagues."

* * *

Back at Spooner Street, Stewie was using Emily's camera to film himself making fun of Emily.

"So, how do you like me now, viewers?" Stewie said to the camera. "Think I'm one hot b**** who loves being in diapers?"

Stewie walked away from the camera's point of view and came back with a boombox. He turned it on and " _Like a Virgin_ " started playing. Stewie started to dance slutty to the song.

After a minute of dancing, Stewie sat on Emily's bed.

"And I think I should take pictures of myself and put it on my daddy's Instagram to show him how much of a naughty big baby I am." Stewie jeered.

Stewie looked around for Emily's cell phone, but he couldn't find it.

"She must have took it to school with her." Stewie muttered.

"On to plan B..." Stewie said.

Stewie lifted the skirt and showed the undergarment to the camera.

"This is so going to blow up on the Internet." Stewie whispered.

* * *

Later, school was over for the day. Meg and Emily walked out of the school.

"So what's the plan, sis?" Meg asked.

"We follow one of her colleagues." Emily said.

"Tell me," Meg said. "What do you know about this girl?"

"Well, she absolutely hates getting her hair wet. So, we find a way to get her hair wet." Emily explained.

Meg and Emily followed her to a spa.

"What if we get caught?" Meg asked.

Emily did some thinking, "We'll need a disguise..."

Emily and Meg sneaked into the spa without being seen.

"Now what should we disguise as?" Meg asked. "We don't have any costumes."

Emily noticed an employee laundry cart near the locker rooms.

"Perfect." Emily whispered.

Meg and Emily pulled out a uniform from the cart and got dressed in the uniforms.

"Now we need to look like we're someone else." Meg said.

"Now, how do we do that?" Emily muttered.

Meg noticed a pile of hair clippings on one of the benches. She picked up a few and put some on her hair.

"I think we've got ourselves some wigs." Meg said.

Emily saw where she got the hair.

"We're washing our hair after this." Emily stated as she picked up a few hair clippings and put them on her hair. "Who knows how much dandruff it might have?"

The sisters are set, and they're ready for action.

Meg and Emily walked up to the girl.

"Guten Tag." Emily says, trying to sound German. "Velcome to our Spa."

"Please have a seat." Emily said as she placed the girl on a massage chair.

"We've got whatever service you need." Emily asserted. "Are you feeling a little chilly?"

"Yes, I am." the girl answered.

"Then you need a relaxation ind our sauna!" Meg said as she and Emily placed the girl in the sauna. Emily set the sauna to 350 degrees.

 _20 Minutes Later…_

Emily and Meg walked up to the sauna door. Emily opened the door to find the girl all pruned.

"Had a gut relaxation?" Emily asked.

"Water..." The pruned girl said. "Really thirsty..."

"Here you go..." Meg said as she handed a glass of water to the girl.

"Need any ice?" Emily asked as she crept up behind the girl.

"Umm... sure." The girl replied.

Emily poured a bucket of ice over the girl making her all wet and cold but unpruned.

"AHHH! MY HAIR!" She cried as Emily and Meg dashed off laughing.

"That takes care of her." Emily said. "Now, who's the next colleague?"

* * *

Back at home, Stewie was filming himself dressed up as Emily in the basement. He had his stuffed animals around a small table.

"Look at me, don't I love playing with my stuffed animals?" Stewie asked to the camera. "I do it because it's my father's gene that he's an idiot. Let's watch me have a tea party with them."

Stewie walked up to the small table and sat down.

"Hello everyone. Would you like some tea?" Stewie said as he grabbed the teapot and pretended to pour tea into a teacup.

None of his 'friends' answered.

"Splendid." Stewie said. "And how about some sugar for you guys?"

There was no answer from the stuffed animals.

"Ok, a little bit of sugar for you." Stewie said as he pretended to put sugar in a teacup.

Just then, Stewie heard someone coming downstairs. He quickly turned off the camera and hid. He saw it was his mother coming downstairs to do the laundry.

Lois carried a laundry basket to the washing machine. She threw the clothes inside and turned on the washing machine. Lois noticed the stuffed animals and the tea party set.

"Stewie? Are you in here?" Lois questioned.

"Damn it..." Stewie muttered to himself. "That vile woman's interfering again... I should probably-"

Before he could finish, Lois picked him up.

"Oh, there you are, sweetie." She said.

"Stewie, what are you doing with Emily's dress?" Lois asked.

Lois pulled the dress off of Stewie leaving him in a diaper. "Damn you vile woman..." Stewie murmured. "Why do you always have to foil me?"

"You must be playing dress-up, Stewie" Lois said playfully, which annoyed Stewie.

"But not with Emily's clothes." Lois laughed. "I mean, her diapers' are too big for you."

Stewie crossed his arms in disappointment.

* * *

Back with Emily and Meg, they were planning the next prank.

"So we got three down," Meg noted. "Now we got Connie's best friend."

"Let's do this." Emily said.

Emily placed a bag on Gina's porch, lit the bag on fire, and rang the doorbell. She ran and hid in the bushes with Meg.

Gina opened her door and found the bag on fire.

"Oh my God, a fire!" She yelled.

Gina stomped on it a couple of times to put it out. Once it was extinguished, she smelt something.

"Ewwww!" She shouted in disgust before running back inside.

Meg and Emily came out of the bushes and ran away laughing.

"Oh. My God." Meg chuckled. "This is hilarious! Though what did you put in that bag?"

"Beaver droppings." Emily answered.

 **Cutaway**

Two beavers were watching from a distance and heard what Emily had said.

"Why would she think about doing that with mine?" The beaver asked.

"You should tell the other beavers about what you did. I mean, they don't give a DAM about it." The other beaver said.

 **End Cutaway**

"Now, all we have left is Connie." Emily said.

"How should we do it?" Meg asked.

"The same way Mom did." Emily said.

Meg and Emily walked up to Connie's house.

"So Connie thinks you're ugly" Emily remarked. "Well, let's see how she likes this ..."

Connie got out of the shower and got dressed in her clothes. She started to throw darts at a picture frame of Meg.

"Take that, Meg! You unpopular loser!" She shouted.

After throwing darts, Connie put on a cucumber mask and placed pineapple slices for the night.

Outside, Meg and Emily placed the ladder at Connie's bedroom window and climbed up the ladder. Emily carefully opened the window and quietly crawled in the room. Connie was snoring in her deep sleep.

"Good, she's fast asleep." Emily whispered.

Meg crawled in next.

"Ok, you ready?" Emily whispered.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Meg replied in a whisper.

Emily pulled out a plastic bag from her backpack.

"What are those?" Meg asked quietly.

"These are the items that we'll be using for Connie's 'beautiful' makeover." Emily answered with a whisper.

Emily took the bottles of Connie's beauty product and poured them down the bathroom sink and refilled them with a different product that Emily got.

"Now, we wait until we see her at school tomorrow." Emily quietly said.

"Great." Meg whispered in reply. "Now let's get out quietly, and try to make sure your diaper doesn't crinkle when you move."

"Got it." Emily said as she and Meg quietly crept out the window.

As Emily makes her way to her ladder, her diaper crinkled.

"Oh no." Emily whispered as she quickly made her way to the window.

Connie just snored. After Emily climbed down the ladder, the girls took away the ladder.

"Damn my undergarments..." Emily muttered.

"Let's just go home..." Meg whispered.

"Way ahead of you." Emily said.

The two girls ran back to their house.

* * *

Back at the Griffin household, Stewie came out of Emily's room holding her camera as he was finished filming.

"I never thought using a camera would be this much fun!" Stewie stated as he came down the stairs. "And it will be hilarious when I put it on YouTube."

Just then, he noticed Meg and Emily entering the house.

"Hey Stewie, how was your-" Emily started to say before she noticed Stewie holding her camera. "What are you doing with my camera?"

"Uh...nothing..." Stewie muttered.

Emily bent down to Stewie's height and held out her hand.

"Stewie, give me the camera." Emily said.

"As if." Stewie retorted.

"Stewie" Emily said sternly. "I'm telling you again, give me back my camera."

"No!" Stewie shouted as he turned his back on Emily.

"Stewie." Emily said as Stewie moved a couple of steps away.

"I'm not gonna give it to you!" Stewie yelled back as he ran up the living room stairs.

"Stewie! Get back here!" Emily yelled as she ran after him.

"There's no way in hell I would ever give it back!" He called back as he ran across the hallway.

"Stewie! This camera is mine, not yours!" Emily argued.

Stewie ran into their parents' room and hid under the bed.

Emily walked down the hallway.

"Stewie! Where are you?" She called.

She looked in Stewie's room, but he wasn't there. She opened the door to Chris' room, but only Chris was there.

"Hey Chris. Is Stewie in here?" Emily asked.

"Nope. I haven't seen him." Chris answered.

"Ok. Thank you." Emily said as she closed his door.

She looked in Meg's room, and he wasn't there.

"Oh..." Emily muttered. "Where is he?"

Stewie grinned with success. 'This is perfect. She'll never find me here.' Stewie thought.

Just then, Stewie saw a pair of feet cladded in purple and black striped stockings and black shoes walk into the bedroom. He could see that Emily was now looking at the closet. She then looked in the bathroom.

Stewie knew that he had keep his lips shut. He held the camera as he tried not to make a sound.

"Where are you Stewie?" Emily called out. "You can't hide forever."

Stewie was already feeling nervous. Just then, he felt something grab him by his left ankle. Stewie gasped and looked behind him. He saw that Emily had found him.

"There you are, you little troublemaker!" She said to him.

Emily pulled him out from under the bed and took the camera out of Stewie's hands.

"Hey, no fair!" Stewie whined.

Stewie climbed up on Emily and tried to get the camera back. Emily moved her arms from side to side to keep Stewie from reaching the camera.

"Stewie!" Emily barked. "Get off of me!"

"Not until you give me back this camera!" Stewie shouted.

"That's my camera!" Emily exclaimed as Stewie kept on trying to reach it. "My mother gave it to me! It's a very delicate thing!"

Emily lost her balance and both she and Stewie landed on the bed. Stewie successfully got the camera and started to run.

"Oh no you don't!" Emily exclaimed as she pinned down Stewie.

"Hey, get off of me, you big baby!" Stewie shouted as he tried to squirm free.

"Give me back my camera first!" Emily said.

Emily's eyes widened in surprise as she saw Stewie unfasten the buttons on his overalls. Stewie leaped out of his overalls and ran out of the room in his diapers while holding the camera.

"Freedom! Victory is mine!" Stewie yelled in triumph.

Emily ran and tackled him. As she tackled him, both of them ended up tumbling down the stairs.

"Let. Go. Of. My. Camera!" Emily grunted.

"I'm going to lose to a teenage girl... who is wearing a big diaper!" Stewie grunted back.

"Alright." A voice said. "What's going on here?"

Emily and Stewie stopped fighting to see their mother standing in front of them.

"Uh oh." they both whispered.

"Emily?" Lois asked. "Would you care to explain why Stewie's not in his overalls?"

"Well, you see..." Emily explained. "I caught Stewie with my camera. I tried to get it, but he refused to give it back."

"Tattletale..." Stewie murmured.

"Stewie, you know better than to steal." Lois scolded as she kneeled down in front of Stewie. "Now, I want you to walk up to your sister, give her back the camera, and apologize for what you did."

"Absolutely not, b****!" Stewie said back at Lois.

"Stewie…" Lois said sternly while crossing her arms.

"I refuse!" Stewie barked.

He started to run but Emily grabbed Stewie's wrist.

"Not so fast, mister!" She said.

"Hey, let go of me!" Stewie shouted.

"We're not playing games, Stewie." Lois said sternly. "Just hand the camera back."

"No!" He shouted.

"Stewie." Lois said as she tried to get the camera back. "Just give it back..."

Lois finally got the camera and gave it back to Emily.

"Here's your camera back." Lois said to Emily

"Thanks mom." She replied.

"Hey!" Stewie complained as Lois picked him up.

"Damn it! This isn't the end! I will get that camera!" Stewie yelled as Lois carried him upstairs.

Stewie tried to squirm free, but it was no use.

"So, Emily," Brian said as he came to sit on the couch with a can of beer. "How was your first day at school?"

He flipped the remote to turn on the TV. Emily sat down on the couch next to Brian.

"It was okay." She responded. "The first few days might be difficult, but I'm sure I'll get used to it."

"Good to hear." Brian said as he began to sip his beer.

* * *

The next day, at James Woods high, Connie walked into the school. Right after she opened the doors, every student in the hallway stared at Connie.

"Oh my god." One of the guys said. "Look at that face!"

"I never even seen a face like that!" A girl shouted.

Some of the kids ran away from Connie.

'What's wrong with my face?' Connie thought.

Connie ran to the girls' restroom and looked in the mirror to see that her face was covered with an ugly rash. Connie let out a scream that echoed through the whole school. As Meg and Emily were walking down the hallway, they heard the scream. They laughed and high fived each other knowing that they got Connie back.

"I just know that you and I are going to get along so well." Emily said to Meg.

Suddenly, they heard a door slam and stomping.

"MEG!" Connie roared with rage.

She marched angrily looking for Meg as she shoved some students out of her way.

"Where is she...?" She muttered to herself.

Meg and Emily quickly hid behind the wall.

"When I get my hands on here..." Connie murmured. "She'll be regretting the day she messes with Connie D'Amico..."

Just then, Principal Shepard walked into the hallway and saw Connie walking angrily.

"Good morning, Con- Oh my God! Connie! What happened to your face?!" Principal Shephard said.

"Meg... happened..." Connie answered as tears rolled down her race. "Thanks to her, I look like a blond Rocky Dennis!"

"Oh my God..." Meg whispered worriedly. "We'll get in so much trouble..."

"No, we won't. I've already been ahead." Emily said. "I called the super lieutenant."

"Don't worry, Connie" Principal Shepard reassured. "Once I call Meg to my office, I'll remind her that she must never get back at the popular because she needs to stay in her place."

"What's this I hear?" A voice questioned.

Principal Shephard nervously turned around to see the superintendent behind him.

"Superintendent?" Principal Shepard asked. "What brings you here?"

"I was told that you were discriminating those who you think are ugly." The superintendent answered sternly. "And I am not pleased."

"I'm the one who told him." Emily admitted as she and Meg came up to the superintendent.

"You?!" Connie said as she saw that it was Emily who called him.

"Superintendent..." Principal Shepard nervously said. "There's been a misunderstanding here..."

"I heard the whole conversation between you and this student." The superintendent explained. "Schools should not be a place where people like Connie act all superior because of their looks. People like Meg should be able to make friends and learn things. They should NOT be discriminated. All you've ever done is be a cheapskate and allowed bullying to go around."

"W-w-well... you see..." Principal Shepard stammered.

"I'm not in the mood to hear your pathetic excuses!" The superintendent snapped. "And for your actions, I've already decided what you two get as a punishment."

* * *

Principal Shepard and Connie D'Amico (Whose face is back to normal) were working at a tolerance camp.

"This is just unbelievable..." Principal Shepard uttered. "We're serving two months at a tolerance camp."

"Yeah, it's already been like a nightmare to me." Connie said. "This is all Meg and Emily's fault..."

Suddenly, Connie got whipped.

"OW!" She cried.

"Don't go blaming stuff on other people!" The counselor snapped. "It's your own fault!"

"THIS ISN'T OVER, MEG GRIFFIN!" Connie cried before getting whipped again.

"What did I say earlier, D'Amico?!"

"Sorry..." Connie said timidly.

* * *

 **The End**

* * *

 **A/N: That was Episode 2 of Family Guy EG! Hope you liked this chapter! See you next chapter! Please review!**


	3. S1, E3: Little House of Griffins

**A/N: Hey everyone! Here's another chapter of Family Guy EG! Special thanks to Family Guy Fan writer 15 for helping with this chapter! I hope you like it! I do not own Family Guy or the OC, Emily Griffin. Emily Griffin belongs to Family Guy Fan writer 15. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 3: The Little House of Griffins

* * *

It was Halloween at Spooner Street and the sun was getting ready to set. In the Griffin house, Stewie and Brian were watching TV.

"We now return to 'The Great Pumpkin's Back, Charlie Brown.'" The TV announcer announced.

 **TV Cutaway**

Charlie Brown was walking down the sidewalk. Linus ran up to him holding a picture.

"Charlie Brown!" Linus shouted. "I really saw the Great Pumpkin this time! I have proof!"

Linus showed a picture to Charlie Brown.

The picture showed a tall, slender being with skeletal hands wearing a very fancy suit. He had a pumpkin with a scary face carved on it on his head.

Snoopy walked up to Linus. Snoopy saw the picture and ran off yelping in fear.

 **End TV Cutaway**

Peter came down with some packages from the attic. Brian turned around and saw this.

"Hey Peter, what's with all those boxes?" Brian asked.

"Oh, those?" Peter answered. "I'm turning this place into a haunted house for Halloween. It'll almost be like the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland. And I'm going to be the host."

"Peter, are you sure Lois is okay with this?" Brian asked.

"She's fine with it, I already asked her." Peter replied.

"Ok. Do you mind if I check out some of the stuff in these boxes?" Brian asked.

"Sure Brian, I don't mind." Peter responded.

Brian opened one of the boxes and found a bunch of costumes.

"Wow, look at all those costumes. Peter, who are you going as?" Brian asked.

"Count Dracula." Peter answered. "He seems like a fitting host to me."

"Awesome. Let me guess, since I'm a dog, I should go as a werewolf." Brian suggested.

"Oh hell yeah." Peter said.

Brian rolled his eyes and looked into the box.

"Wait a minute..." Brian said as he noticed something in the box. "Is this Emily's mom's old wedding dress?"

"Yeah, I asked Emily if she would like to be the corpse bride in that dress, and she agreed." Peter replied.

"She did?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, she did." Peter answered.

"That's cool. So, I guess Lois will be doing Emily's makeup." Brian suggested.

"She sure will," Peter replied. "She will also do Joe's Frankenstein makeup."

Just then, the doorbell rang. Peter answered it to find a delivery man standing in front of him.

"Is this the Griffin's residence?" The delivery man asked.

"Yes, that's me," Peter answered. "Are you here to deliver the carts for my homemade haunted house ride?"

"Yes, I am." the delivery man said.

"What carts are y-" Brian started to ask. He stopped when he saw the delivery guy bring some metal carts to the door.

"Peter, did you buy mine carts?" Brian asked.

"Actually, these are homemade haunted house carts. One for each person who rides it." Peter said.

"Peter, you don't even have any tracks for these carts installed around or inside the house!" Brian shouted.

"Not yet we don't" Peter said. "Me, Joe, Quagmire and Cleveland will be setting up the tracks, and for the best part, there will be a roller coaster at the end!"

"This better be a good haunted house. Unlike last year." Brian commented.

 **Cutaway**

In last year's haunted house, Peter was dressed as a pirate and was leading the tour into the piano room something was covered under the sheet.

"And over here lies the deadliest creature in the world." Peter announced to the guests.

He pulled the sheet to reveal a white rabbit in a cage.

"A rabbit? Seriously?" One of the guests said.

"Yes, but that's no ordinary rabbit," Peter replied. "I found it at a cave in Britain, and this one is a deadly beast."

"Yeah, right!" A guest scoffed.

"What a rip off." Another guest said.

"You sir, are nothing but a PHONY!" Holden Caulfield stated. "A BIG FAT PHONY!"

"We're out of here." A boy dressed a Captain America said.

"No! Come Back! Wait! Please!" Peter pleaded, but it was no use.

"Dammit, now nobody want to come to my haunted house because of this...' Peter moaned in defeat.

Then, he noticed the rabbit wasn't in the cage.

"Oh crap! The Killer Rabbit's on the loose!" Peter shouted.

Suddenly, the rabbit leaped onto his neck and Peter fell to the ground screaming.

 **End Cutaway**

Stewie walked down the stairs wearing a white lab coat, black pants, black shoes, and a black shirt. A pair of scientist goggles rested on top of his head. He stepped into the kitchen where Lois was applying makeup to Emily's face.

"The night is alive!" Stewie yelled in a crazed tone.

"My, Stewie, aren't you a cute little genius." Lois said as she looked at Stewie.

"Of course I am. I'm a genius at making devious plans to have you eliminated. Soon, I will succeed." Stewie chuckled evilly.

"That's nice, sweetie," Lois said. "Now Mommy has to get some more makeup for your sister."

Lois left the kitchen and went upstairs.

Emily turned to Stewie. Her face was all gray with some black eyeliner.

"So Stewie, how do you like your costume?" Emily asked.

"It's amazing! I love it! Thank you for choosing this costume for me!" Stewie answered with enthusiasm.

"No problem," Emily said.

"Your makeup looks great. What else does Lois have to do?" Stewie asked.

"Nothing much yet. There are still a few things put on my makeup." Emily replied.

"You know, funny thing, I almost thought you would be like a giant zombie baby for Halloween." Stewie said.

"Was it because of me wearing these undergarments?" Emily asked sternly as she lifted the skirt of the wedding dress.

"Pretty much." Stewie answered.

Lois came back with some makeup supplies.

"Alright, sweetie." Lois said to Emily. "Now to add the final touches."

She put a couple of red linings on Emily's face to make her look like she was cracked.

"And...finished!" Lois exclaimed.

She pulled out a face mirror and handed it to Emily.

"My god..." Emily gasped. "I look like I've risen from the dead."

"Then you're all set." Lois said. "Once we're ready, get yourself in the coffin and act like you're dead. Though since there's still time, want to take Stewie trick-or-treating until everything's ready?"

"Sure, mom," Emily said. "Also, I've already brought some candy for the trick-or-treaters."

"And where did you get the candy?" Stewie asked. "They sure don't look like the ones that have been advertised."

"That's because I got them from Whole Foods." Emily answered. "I can't stand it when everyone eats those disgusting processed stuff with high fructose corn syrup..."

"Well, good for you, Emily." Lois said. "No kids of mine would eat that stuff."

The doorbell rang. Emily walked up to the door and opened it to find two kids dressed as Doctor Strange and Jason Voorhees.

"Trick or Treat!" they yelled in unison.

"Well, don't you two look great in these costumes?" Emily complimented as she handed them candy.

"Thank you!" The kids said as they left.

"Ready to go trick-or-treating, Stewie?" Emily asked.

"You bet I will, big baby." Stewie said in a teasing tone.

Emily just rolled her eyes.

"Are you and your brother all set?" Lois asked as she is now dressed as a beautiful witch.

"Yes, mom." Emily responded.

"Ok, I'll let you know when the haunted house is ready." Lois noted. "I'll text you when it's time."

"Understood." Emily said.

"Now keep an eye on him, don't let any teenage bullies take his candy. It happened to him last time." Lois warned.

"Will do." Emily said.

"And Emily," Lois said before Emily and Stewie left. "When you plan on sharing any candy, don't give any chocolate type candy to Brian."

"Got it, mom." Emily said as she nodded her head.

Then, she and Stewie turned away to go trick or treating.

"Uh, Emily?" Stewie asked. "Why can't we offer any chocolate to Brian?"

Emily bent down to Stewie's height and whispered in his ear. Stewie's eyes widened in shock.

Hole. Lee. S***." Stewie said.

Lois heard a cackle from behind her. She turned around to see Peter wearing a vampire garb, a white shirt with a collar, black pants, and fake vampire teeth.

"Oh ho ho, Peter!" Lois said laughing.

"Like my costume, Lois?" Peter asked.

"You know I do." Lois said.

"If this night goes well, maybe you can take a ride on a 'magical broomstick.'" Peter stated to Lois.

Lois just giggled. Just then, Cleveland, Joe and Quagmire came.

"Hey Peter! We're here!" Quagmire announced.

"Hey guys!" Peter said.

"Ready to get this house IN track?" Cleveland asked while making a pun.

"You bet!" Peter said.

"You guys get started. I'm going to get my makeup done." Joe said as he wheeled his way to the kitchen where Lois was getting the makeup ready.

"Sure thing Joe." Peter said as they started to work.

* * *

Meanwhile, Stewie and Emily walked along the sidewalk and came up to a house. Emily knocked a few times on the door. The door opens to reveal Mort Goldman.

"Trick or Treat." Stewie and Emily said in unison.

"Oh, hello. Nice costumes. Here you go." Mort said as he grabbed some candy from a bowl and put it into Emily and Stewie's bags.

Emily noticed something about the candy.

"Going organic too?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, I'm trying to be careful with myself and get sick from any processed ingredients, so I thought I'd do the same with everyone else." Mort said nervously.

"Well, good for you." Emily commented as she smiled at Mort.

They walked to another house. Stewie rang the doorbell. After a few seconds, Buzz Killington opened the door.

"Trick or- oh no! Not him!" Stewie cried in realization.

"Why hello, Stewie." Buzz Killington said. "Fancy meeting you here. Have you ever heard about the time how pineapple was discovered?"

"No, and I really don't want to know..." Stewie answered.

"Well, I'll tell you anyway." Buzz Killington said. "They discovered how much they were PINING!" Buzz laughed at his unfunny joke. "Now then, would any of you like some avocados?"

"No!" Stewie shouted.

"Well, here you go anyway." Buzz Killington said as he placed two avocados in Stewie's bag.

Stewie growled in anger as he and Emily walked away from the house.

"Now, I can see why you don't like him." Emily said.

* * *

Back at the Griffin household, Peter, Cleveland, Joe, and Quagmire were helping Brian with his costume.

"Alright, Brian. First things first about turning you into a werewolf is you need brown fur. How are we going to do that?" Peter said.

"We could dip him in chocolate?" Quagmire suggested.

"No, we are not doing that, Quagmire." Peter replied sternly.

"What?" Quagmire questioned.

"Chocolate is deadly to dogs. We know that you hate my dog, but that's too far." Peter replied.

"And you know I could arrest you for animal abuse." Joe added.

"Damn it..." Quagmire muttered.

"Now then..." Peter said. "Any other ideas?"

"We could use brown spray paint." Cleveland suggested.

"Oh yeah!" Peter said. "Good thinking, Cleveland!"

"You know," Joe said. "I got these brown spray cans that I confiscated from those teens yesterday."

"Can you get them, Joe?" Peter asked.

"Of course." Joe accepted as he wheeled to his house.

"I don't know..." Brian said. "I've had a bad experience with spray paint... One time, when I took Stewie trick-or-treating, those teenage bullies spray painted me pink. It was such a huge embarrassment."

"Is that why you were pink?" Peter asked "I thought you went out as Clifford except the paint was fading off."

"Ha ha. Very funny, Peter." Brian said sarcastically.

Joe came back with some cans of brown spray paint.

"Alright guys, got the spray paint cans here," Joe said.

"Wait, don't I need a mask?" Brian asked. "I don't want to breathe in that stuff."

"Did you wear a mask when you got spray painted last Halloween?" Peter asked.

"No, but-" Brian started to say.

"Good." Peter said as he grabbed a can of spray paint. "Time to get you all brown like Chewbacca."

Peter, Quagmire, and Cleveland spray painted Brian, causing a cloud of spray paint to form around Brian.

A few minutes later, Brian was colored brown from head to toe.

"Wow," Brian said. "Even though I'm color blind, I feel like a brown Labrador."

Just then, the Porgs from 'Star Wars: The Last Jedi" appeared next to him.

"Sorry guys," Brian said to the Porgs. "You've got the wrong brown-haired friend."

"I'm right here, you guys." Chewbacca said as he walked to Brian.

The Porgs flew to Chewbacca.

"Alright then, let's head back to our ship." Chewbacca said as he and the Porgs boarded the Millennium Falcon and took off.

"Well," Quagmire said. "That was bizarre..."

"Now that you're brown..." Peter said. "You'll be needing a uniform to make you look like a werewolf. Let's see... what kind... The classic? The high School jockey? The business man? Or maybe the stereotypical homosexual Duke?"

"How about 'none of the above'? Werewolves are always in the nude!" Brian said.

"But then people will think you're a brown dog." Peter noted.

"Oh, yeah. Good point. Alright, just give me the high school jock." Brian stated.

"All right guys. Now, it's time for a building montage." Peter announced.

As they started building, "Dead Man's Party" started playing. Peter grabbed a tool box, some metal tracks, and some wood. Quagmire arranged the metal tracks and wooden structure. Joe grabbed a screwdriver and wrench, jumped out of his wheelchair and landed on his stomach, and started screwing the metal tracks together. Peter was hammering the wooden structure together. After he hammered a few nails, he went to go get more nails. Suddenly, he felt a tug from behind. He looked behind and found that his pants got caught in the nails. Brian and Cleveland were decorating the house with fake blood and gravestones. An hour later, the house looked a real haunted house.

"We did it, guys. The haunted house is finished and ready for business!" Peter said.

* * *

Emily and Stewie walked up to the next house. They rang the doorbell and the person who answered the door was David Pumpkins from Saturday Night Live.

"How's it hanging?" David Pumpkins greeted. "I'm David Pumpkins!"

"Uhhh...trick-or-treat?" Stewie and Emily said awkwardly.

"If that's what you want, I'll give you both!" David said. Suddenly, his two skeleton dancers appeared from left and right of Stewie and Emily and started dancing to a weird tune.

Stewie and Emily were weirded out by this strange performance. After the skeletons stopped dancing, David Pumpkins looked at Stewie and Emily.

"Any questions?" David asked.

"Where's the damn candy?!" Stewie yelled.

"In your pockets!" David said.

Stewie and Emily looked in their pockets to find that there is candy in there.

"Good lord!" Stewie exclaimed in amazement. "How did they get there?! Did they?"

The skeletons shook their heads.

"Then how-?" Stewie said confusedly when he got cut off.

"I'm David S. Pumkins!" He said.

"Happy Halloween!" said the skeletons.

"Any questions?" David Pumpkins said as the door closed.

"Thanks…" Emily thanked awkwardly.

"That was weird…" Stewie commented as they walked away from the house.

Just then, they ran into Chris.

"Chris? What are you doing here?" Emily asked confusedly.

"Trick or treating." Chris said. "Mom wouldn't trust me with doing the construction work."

Chris is completely covered with toilet paper.

"So, you decided to become a mummy, did you?" Stewie asked.

"Actually," Chris said. "I had a huge incident with the toilet paper..."

They came to the next house and the door opened to show Herbert dressed up as Charlie Chaplin.

"Well, look at that." Herbert said. "Looks like Chris came over to trick-or-treat."

Suddenly, Emily felt a buzzing in her pocket. She pulled out her phone from her pocket.

"Oh my gosh," Emily said. "We need to head back home now, the haunted ride is ready."

"It's ready?" Chris said. "Sorry, Mr. Herbert... maybe next year."

The three Griffin kids left.

"Get your fat ass back here..." Herbert said in defeat.

* * *

At the Griffin house, Peter was outside waiting for kids to enter the haunted house.

"Velcome to my humble home," Peter said, "Would you care for a ride of your fright?"

"Not yet Peter," Lois called. "The kids aren't back yet!"

"Oh ok. Sorry, Lois." Peter apologized.

"Oh... dammit, where are they?" Lois asked herself as she started to get worried.

"Hey Lois," Cleveland asked. "How do we make Quagmire look invisible?"

"What do you mean?" Lois asked.

"Well earlier, we tried covering him all green." Cleveland replied.

"Oh?" Lois asked. "And whose bright idea was that?"

"What?!" Lois asked angrily. "Peter, that is not how you make an invisible man!"

"How was I supposed to know?!" Peter asked. "I went to the paint shop earlier yesterday!"

 **Cutaway**

You see Peter at a hardware store shopping for paint.

"Excuse me sir, do you have any invisible paint?" Peter asked to the store clerk.

The clerk stared at him for a few seconds and then started laughing.

"Why did you even come here?" The clerk laughed. "There's no such thing as invisible paint! What are you, born yesterday?!"

 **End Cutaway**

"Well, how else are we going to get Quagmire to look invisible?" Peter asked.

"Have you tried painting camouflage?" Lois asked.

"No..." Peter said glumly. "I can't make realistic color."

"Why not?" Cleveland questioned.

 **Cutaway**

We see Peter dressed as Bob Ross.

"Hello everyone," Peter said "I'm going to paint a nice, beautiful, and realistic looking picture. And what I will paint... is a beautiful landscape..."

He began painting something on the canvas.

"Ah man... look at those colors" Peter said. "You'll be full of wonder once it's done..."

"And…done." Peter said as he turned the canvas revealing a crappy looking paint that would look good if a seven year old made it.

"Dammit!" Peter shouted.

 **End Cutaway**

"Oh..." Cleveland said in realization. "That's why..."

Just then, Emily, Stewie, and Chris opened the door.

"We're home!" Emily announced.

"Thank God you're back," Lois said. "Get in position, we're starting."

"But I'm not ready!" Quagmire exclaimed.

"Ok, just wrap your face in paper towels and put a pair of sunglasses over it." Peter said.

"Alright, I don't know if this will work..." Quagmire said as Peter walked outside for position.

"Sorry for the wait, everyone..." Peter said, explaining to the people in line. "There was some technical difficulties..."

He turned to the people in line only to find there were no people in line.

"Did I forget something?" Peter asked.

He saw there was no sign on the front lawn.

"Crap! I forgot to put up a sign on the lawn!" Peter exclaimed.

Peter went in the house looking for it.

"Now, where did I put it?" Peter said to himself.

Peter looked in the kitchen, his room, Stewie's room, and Meg's room, but there was no sign in either of those rooms. Peter looked in the garage where Stewie and Joe were there in position. The sign was there standing against a wall.

"Bingo." Peter whispered as he grabbed the sign.

Peter ran outside and mounted the sign on the lawn.

Two minutes later, some people came up.

"Velcome one and all," Peter said as he tried to sound Romanian. "Would you care to come for a ride of your fright?"

"Is the ride free?" a kid asked.

"Vhy Yes it is." Peter said.

"And so is the candy if you're still trick or treating..." Peter said in his normal voice.

"Cool." the kid said as he entered the haunted house.

He got onto the cart and the ride began.

The cart entered through the front door and in the first exhibit, Lois acted like she was brewing.

"Come on over and taste thy brew!" Lois cackled.

The cart moved its way to the next exhibit where there was a coffin. The coffin opened up and Emily crawled out of it.

"Are you the lover I've been waiting for since 1872?" Emily said in a British accent.

The cart moved through the garage where Stewie pulled the switch.

"It's alive...IT'S ALIVE!" Stewie yelled as Joe sat up.

The cart turned outside where Brian was waiting. Brian growled at the moving cart. The cart turns to the kitchen where Cleveland was there. Cleveland slowly walked towards the cart with his arms outstretched. The cart went back through the living room and got to the chain climb.

Meanwhile, outside, Brian was taking a little break when he noticed something. On one part of the rollercoaster, a screw was missing.

"Oh my god..." Brian whispered before running to find Peter.

On the ride, the cart reached the top and makes a turn and entered Meg's room where Meg is dressed casually and texting on her phone.

"Hey... 'sup?" Meg asked as she noticed the cart.

The kid screamed as the cart turned to the outside and turned to the window to Chris' room.

"You've disturbed the pharaoh's tomb..." A recording of Joe's voice said. "Now, face his wrath..."

Chris came out of a coffin.

"I'm a mummy." Chris said.

The cart exited Chris's room as Quagmire came out of the bathroom.

"Brace yourself," Quagmire said. "For I am the invisible man!"

The cart continued to the master bedroom where David Pumpkins and his two skeleton dancers were waiting.

"I'm David Pumpkins!" David said. "Enjoyed the ride so far?"

Outside, Brian came to Peter.

"Peter! We need to stop the ride!" Brian exclaimed.

"Why? The ride is going so well!" Peter said.

"Not till it gets to the-"

Before Brian could finish, he saw that the cart was about to enter the climax of the ride.

"Oh no..." Brian muttered.

The cart zoomed downwards and made a few turns and drops. Suddenly, the loose support shook and started to fall apart. A crash was heard and the cart started to swerve out of the backyard and into the street.

"Oh crap. Now what?" Peter said.

"What was that?!" Joe asked in alarm. "I heard a crashing sound!"

"The roller coaster portion just fell apart!" Brian yelled.

"What?!" Joe asked in panic. "How did this happened?"

"Umm... I just realized that I forgot to screw the bolt..." Peter nervously confessed.

Brian and Stewie both facepalmed.

"What were you thinking, Peter?!" Lois snapped. "You know that should been your priority!"

A woman walked up to Lois.

"Hate to break your argument," The woman said. "BUT MY SON'S ON THAT CART!"

"Don't worry, ma'am. We'll get your son." Peter assured.

"Get in the car, Peter." Joe said. "We're about to go on a wild goose chase..."

Peter, Joe, Quagmire, and Cleveland ran to Joe's police car and got in.

Joe contacted the police radio.

"All units, I'd like to report a runaway cart on the loose rolling down the streets." Joe said "I need traffic and trick-or-treaters out of the path."

"Hehehehe..." Peter laughed. "Looks like we got Frankenstein as our police officer..."

"Peter, this is serious..." Joe muttered.

"Oh... right... sorry..." Peter apologized.

Quagmire stuck his head out of the window to see if he could find the cart.

"There it is!" Quagmire shouted as he pointed to the cart.

The kid panicked as he crossed a stoplight at a red light causing the cars to crash in at each other.

"Oh no! The road's blocked!" Peter yelled.

Joe took a left turn and turned right on the next lane. Meanwhile, the kid on the runaway cart was heading towards a railroad crossing. A stream line steam train was approaching. The kid looked right and shrieked at the sight on the incoming train. The cart crossed the tracks and the train missed. The gang crossed the bridge over the train tracks. Quagmire looked at the window and gasped.

"Guys! The cart is headed towards the dock!" Quagmire yelled.

"That doesn't sound bad," Peter said. "I mean, he can just swim and we can fish the cart out since I used to be one."

"We need to stop that cart and fast!" Joe shouted.

"But how?" Quagmire asked.

"We might need some backup." Joe responded.

"And just in case, I'll get a boat." Peter said.

"Boat..." Joe said. "That's it! There's a garbage barge over there and Peter could use the boat to push the barge and catch the cart!"

"Great idea!" Cleveland said.

Joe stopped the police car at the nearest boat. Peter got out of the car and boarded the boat. The cart sped through the dock and was headed towards the ocean. Peter turned on the boat motor and pushed the garbage barge to the runaway cart's path. The kid screamed as the cart zoomed along the dock and fell into the garbage barge.

"Are you alright, kid?" Peter asked.

The kid popped out of the garbage.

"That was awesome!" The kid shouted. "Let's do it again!"

"Yeah we're not doing that again..." Joe replied blankly.

Just then, Lois, Bonnie, Donna and the boy's mother arrived.

"Oh, thank goodness you're okay!" The kid's mother said as she came up to her son and hugged him.

"That was some awesome ride!" The kid said.

"We did it, guys. We saved the kid!" Peter announced.

"I'm glad you did, Peter" Lois said proudly.

"That was some good thinking, Joe." Bonnie said.

"Aww shucks." Joe said as he blushed.

"Come on, let's go home." Peter said as they all walked to the car.

"You know," I really need to be more careful next time when it comes to setting up the ride." Peter added.

"And what about the cart?" Lois asked. "You do know it's a rental."

"We can make a replacement." Peter answered.

"No Peter, we can't!" Lois said sternly. "Didn't you know what I mean by rental?"

"Yeah! We return it after destroying it!" Peter said.

"No!" Lois shouted. "It means we have to return it WITHOUT any damage! What is wrong with you?"

"We're kind of in a hurry because our show's almost over for the week." Peter blankly said.

"Besides, Cleveland called for a crane." Peter added.

"Well, that's better." Lois said.

As soon as Peter started the car, he set the car to reverse by mistake causing him to bump into Cleveland's car which accidentally got his car tilting on the edge of the dock.

"What the hell?" Cleveland exclaimed. "No no no no no no no NO!"

Then, he and Donna in their car fell off the edge into the same garbage bags Peter saved the kid in.

"Dammit! Sorry Cleveland!" Peter called.

"Looks live I've got another reason for a crane..." Cleveland said.

* * *

The End

* * *

 **A/N: Well, that was Episode 3 of Family Guy EG! Hope you liked this chapter! See you next chapter! Happy Halloween! Please review!**


	4. S1, E4: The Necklace

A/N: Hey everyone! Here's another chapter of Family Guy EG! Special thanks to Family Guy Fan writer 15 for helping with this chapter! I hope you like it! I do not own Family Guy or the OC, Emily Griffin. Emily Griffin belongs to Family Guy Fan writer 15. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 4: The Necklace

* * *

It was a normal day on Spooner Street. In the Griffin house, Emily, Brian, Stewie, and Meg were watching TV.

"We now return to 'The Princess Bride 2'." The TV announcer said.

 **Cutaway to TV**

"Oh Westley, I love you." Buttercup said.

"I love you too, Buttercup." Westley said. "I don't see how things can get any better."

"I'm pregnant." Buttercup announced.

Westley's eyes widened and his face froze.

"I wish I was all dead right now." Westley whispered.

 **End Cutaway**

Lois came in the living room.

"Alright everyone." Lois announced. "It's almost time for dinner."

Just then, Peter came in with four bottles of beer in both of his hands.

"Hey everyone!" Peter said. "I'm back from work!"

"Peter! What's with all the beer?" Lois yelled.

"Oktoberfest is around the corner, Lois." Peter answered.

"Seriously?" Brian asked sternly.

"Yep. It's time to drink beer and get drunk like there's no tomorrow." Peter stated.

"Peter," Lois said. "Oktoberfest is in Germany, and you don't have the money for a trip like that! Not even for a low budget airline for crying out loud!"

"What?" Peter said confusedly.

"Besides, Oktoberfest is already over." Brian added.

"Awwww…." Peter whined.

"Now, put those beer bottles down. It's time for dinner." Lois said.

"Well, you don't have to be a downer like Buzz Killington." Peter said as Buzz Killington was shown sitting on a chair next to them.

"Peter," Buzz said. "Have you ever rode on a passenger Zeppelin that crossed the Atlantic?

"No..." Peter responded.

"Well, I could tell you that it would have been a pleasant time floating around and joining a HOT AIR mile-high club!" Buzz said before laughing softly.

Peter sighed in annoyance as he rubbed his eye bridges.

"Why does he always ruin the fun?" Emily asked.

"Because that's who he is, Emily." Stewie replied.

* * *

At dinner, Stewie was staring sternly at Emily's necklace. Emily took note of this and looked at Stewie.

"Stewie, what's wrong? Is there something on me?" Emily asked.

"Nope..." Stewie said as he quickly averted. "Nothing..."

"Oh... kay." Emily said and went back to eating.

"Just for once, Peter" Lois said sternly. "Can't you spend like one day without beer?"

"That would be difficult when comes to him," Brian said "He'll never get separated without any beer."

 **CUTAWAY**

Peter walked up to the fridge to get another can of beer. He opened the fridge to find no beer cans.

"Oh god dammit! I'm all out of beer! Where can I get some?" Peter said.

Then, Peter noticed a beer tree.

"Of course! I must climb up that tree and get a nice long drink of beer." Peter stated.

Peter rans outside and climbed up the tree while giggling. He poked his torso into the tree's hollow hole where the beer was at. He ended up getting stuck.

"Oh bother!" Peter said feeling defeated.

 **CUTAWAY ENDS**

After dinner, Stewie walked to Emily's room while dragging his bear Rupert. Stewie knocked on the door to Emily's room.

"Hey Emily, can I borrow your TV for a second?" Stewie called out. "Chris is using it at the moment."

There was no reply. Stewie knocked the door again.

"Hello? Are you in there?"

Again, no answer.

Stewie opened the door and looked around to find Emily's not in there. He begin climbing down the stairs.

"You know, Rupert," He said to his teddy bear. "It's interesting that you've never seen the inside of Emily's room. I mean, look at her. How could she stand sleeping with a washing machine in the room?"

As usual, no answer came out from Rupert. Stewie walked over to her dresser.

"And look at this," Stewie said. "Have you ever seen the size of those jeans? I mean, look at them, they're the size of an average teenage girl her age, and yet with her in diapers, she couldn't even fit in those."

Rupert said nothing again, but Stewie's tone changed.

"What do you mean I shouldn't be judgmental?"

No reply came from Rupert.

"I know she's my sister, but she's just so hilarious to mess about." Stewie said as he kept looking.

Stewie noticed her own DVDs in the shelf.

"Wow, she really is critical when comes to movies." Stewie stated. "I mean, she never watches any Rob Schneider films, not even M. Night Shyamalan films, except for the 'The Sixth Sense', 'Stuart Little' and 'Split'..."

Stewie then heard that the downstairs shower was running, which means Emily was taking a shower.

"Well, no wonder she didn't answer..." Stewie said to himself. "She didn't hear me knocking because she's taking a shower... of course..."

Stewie noticed her usual clothes laying on the bed.

"You know Rupert, for a girl like her," Stewie said. "She always seem to fancy looking like a girl in the 80s while wearing the witch's socks."

He climbed onto her bed. "Of course, she needed curly hair too like she's in the 80s" Stewie added.

He noticed her necklace that she always wears on the nightstand.

"And why does she ever wear that thing? What's there that so important to her?" Stewie asked himself.

There was a seven second pause.

"How should I know Rupert? I'm not a diamond cutter." Stewie said.

Stewie picked up the necklace and examined it.

"And is this thing made of? Sapphire? Lapis Lazuli?" He asked himself.

"She should just wean out of this thing and sell it for money. I think she'll thank me later." Stewie said as he walked off with the necklace.

A few seconds after Stewie left the room, Emily finished taking a shower. After she dried herself off, she put on a fresh undergarment. Then, she noticed something different about her nightstand.

"My necklace!" Emily cried out. "Where is it?"

She frantically ran around her room searching for it.

"Where is it? It's got to be somewhere in here... Oh where is it?" Emily said as she started to panic.

Just then, Lois came downstairs.

"Emily, what's wrong?" Lois asked.

"My necklace! It's gone!" Emily explained.

"Well, where was it when you last had it?" Lois questioned.

"I remember putting it right here on the nightstand when I went to take a shower." Emily recalled.

"It could be around the house somewhere. In fact, earlier, I saw Stewie hiding a piece of jewelry in his overalls." Lois said.

This made Emily's eyes widen. She ran upstairs to Stewie's room only to find that he wasn't there. She saw Brian walking down the hallway. She ran up to Brian.

"Brian, have you seen Stewie?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, he told me he's going to a jewelry shop." Brian said. "Why'd you ask?"

"My necklace! Stewie took it!" Emily responded.

"Oh jeez..." Brian said as he rubbed his nose bridge.

"I hope Stewie comes back soon so I can give him a piece of my mind." Emily said.

Meanwhile, Stewie came to the jewelry.

"Hello. I'd like to sell this necklace." Stewie said.

"Oh hey kid," Bruce said "What kind of necklace you got there?"

He looked closer at the necklace.

"Now let's see what that gem's made of..." Bruce said as he examined the necklace.

After a few seconds, he found out what gem it was.

"Wow..." Bruce said "That's one nice looking blue alexandrite."

"Alexandrite? Are those gems super expensive?" Stewie asked.

"Yes, they are" Bruce replied. "And from the looks of it...this looks like it's worth seventy five hundred dollars."

"Sold!" Stewie said.

* * *

Stewie walked up to the front door of the Griffin house. He pushed open the door and walked in.

"Ahem." Emily bluntly said.

"D'AH!" Stewie shrieked.

He turned around to find Emily standing tall and staring sternly at her baby brother with her arms folded. She tapped her right foot three times.

"Oh! Hey Emily!" Stewie said surprised and nervous. "What a surprise!"

"Don't 'Hey Emily' me! I know what you did!" Emily sternly said.

"Did what?" Stewie asked nervously "I don't know what you're talking about."

"The necklace that I left on my nightstand while I was taking a shower!" Emily responded, starting to get angry.

"Oh that?" Stewie asked "I have no Idea where it's at."

"Don't lie to me, Stewie." Emily replied sternly. "Mom told me she saw you with MY necklace in YOUR pocket of YOUR overalls!"

Stewie knew that he had to come clean.

"Alright fine, I sold it!" Stewie confessed.

"You WHAT?!" Emily cried out.

"Stewie! You sold the necklace?!" Emily screamed.

"Yeah, so, what's the big deal about a stupid necklace?" Stewie remarked.

"What's the big deal?!" Emily exclaimed. "The necklace was my mother's when she wore this at her wedding!"

"Wait, Lois wore this?" Stewie asked. "That gives me more reason to get rid of it."

"No, my birth mother!" Emily corrected. "She wore that at a wedding, and ever since she died in that car accident I was in, I wore this as a memory to remind myself about her!"

After Emily said that, Stewie realized how much of a fool he had made of himself. "Ooh... oops."

"Stewie, how could you do that?" Emily cried.

"I thought it was no big deal." Stewie said "And it was worth seventy-five thousand dollars. But how was I supposed to know it was to remind you of your mother?"

"HOW?!" Emily asked in outrage. "HOW?!"

A scared Stewie slowly stepped back as the shadow of Emily casted over him.

"Now Emily..." Stewie said nervously. "Let's try not to get hasty..."

"Get Brian. We're going to the jeweler." Emily said with stern.

* * *

Emily, Brian, and Stewie walked up to the jewelry, which was getting close to closing for the night.

"Oh, hey y'all." Bruce greeted as the trio walked into the shop. "What can I get y'all here? Buy'in or selling anything?"

"We need to buy back the necklace Stewie sold you" Brian said.

"And which one was that?" Bruce asked.

"That silver necklace with the blue jewel I sold you earlier today, the one you claimed it made of blue alexandrite." Stewie answered.

"Oh, that?" Bruce asked. "Oh no! I'm sorry, guys... but someone else took it before you came to buy it back..."

"What?!" Brian, Emily, and Stewie exclaimed.

"Then who took it?" Emily asked.

"Well..." Bruce answered. "Two guys came in a few hours earlier. They didn't say their names, but they said they're from a jewelry program on NBC at New York City."

"New York City?!" Emily cried out.

"This is just great! How are we going to get to New York City?" Brian shouted in outrage.

"I guess we won't..." Emily muttered.

She knelt to the ground with her hands buried in her face.

"Oh boy..." Bruce said to himself worried.

"That necklace was the only memory I had left of my mother...and now, it's gone..." Emily said as tears rolled down her cheeks.

After Bruce heard what she said, he starts to cry too.

"Look Emily," Stewie said. "I'm really sorry about the necklace... I didn't think it was that important to you."

Emily stood up and dried her tears.

"Brian, take Stewie home." Emily said.

Brian carried Stewie and started to walk back home.

"My god..." Stewie said depressingly. "I never felt so guilty."

"She's never been this depressed since we saw 'Old Yeller'." Brian added.

 **CUTAWAY**

Brian, Emily and Stewie were sitting on the couch watching 'Old Yeller'.Emily was close to tears as they are watching the film.

"This is really messed up..." Brian said. "He had to shoot him because he had rabies?"

Emily looked at Brian with fearful eyes.

"Brian, do you have rabies?" She whimpered.

"No, I don't have rabies." Brian said.

"How can we be sure...?" Stewie asked as he kept his eye on Brian.

"Uhh... Stewie?" Brian asked "What are you doing?"

Stewie chalks up a rifle.

 **CUTAWAY ENDS**

When Brian and Stewie got home, Stewie walked up to his room feeling guilty. When Stewie entered his room, he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket.

"What the deuce?" Stewie asked himself as he picked up his phone to find that Emily texted him. He began to read the text message.

'Stewie,

If you're reading this, I am very disappointed in what you've done.

I decided to take the train on over to Penn Station and get back my necklace.

Don't even think about following me.

Emily.'

Stewie gasped after he finished reading.

"Oh my god." He said in shock. "Brian!"

Stewie ran downstairs to find Brian. Brian was sitting on the couch in the living room.

"Brian!" Stewie called.

Brian turned his head to see Stewie.

"Stewie, what is it?" Brian asked.

"Look what Emily texted me!" Stewie exclaimed as he handed Brian his phone.

Brian took Stewie's phone and read it. Brian's eyes widened with shock and his mouth gaped open.

"Oh my god!" Brian said in shock. "You mean she's not here?!"

Stewie went to Emily's basement to check. Stewie saw no sign of Emily.

"No! She's not here!" Stewie shouted.

"We have to go get her!" Brian said.

Brian and Stewie left the house in a hurry.

* * *

Emily was wearing a grey trench coat with her usual clothes while holding a suitcase full of her equipment. She was waiting at Providence Station waiting for the train to New York as an Amtrak Acela Express approached.

"There it is. New York, here I come." Emily whispered as she walked up to the train.

As Emily started to board the train, Stewie and Brian arrived and parked the Prius. They ran to the ticket window.

"Two tickets to New York on this train!" Brian said.

"Sure thing, sir." The ticket collector said. "Will that be cash or credit?"

"Cash." Brian quickly answered.

Brian handed him the cash, took the tickets, and ran off with Stewie following him.

"Hey!" The ticket collector called out. "You forgot your change!"

"The Acela Express, 10:30 pm service, bound for Washington is now departing." The announcer said over the intercom as Stewie and Brian got on board. "Our next stop, is New London Station."

"Alright, now where's Emily?" Brian whispered.

"There she is." Stewie whispered in reply as he pointed towards Emily sitting at her seat facing away from him and Brian.

Brian and Stewie slowly walked to Emily. Emily's eyes widened and she quickly turned to where Stewie and Brian were standing, only to find that spot empty. Emily sighed in relief. Stewie and Brian were hiding two rows behind her.

"Man that was close..." Brian whispered.

"You're telling me." Stewie whispered back.

* * *

The train approached the tunnel as it then approached New York City.

"Now arriving, New York Pennsylvania Station." The announcer said.

Emily got up from her seat, ready to get off the train. She passed by Stewie and Brian who were hiding their faces with newspapers. After she passed, they lowered their papers. Stewie and Brian nodded their heads at each other and started to follow her. Emily exited Penn Station as Stewie and Brian followed her without being seen. While they were following her, Brian stopped as he saw a nearby building. Stewie stopped to turn around and saw him peeing on the building.

"Brian, what are you doing? We're supposed to follow Emily." Stewie said.

"But can't you see what this building is?" Brian asked.

Stewie looked and saw that the building he was peeing on was Trump Towers.

"Oh, I see what you doing." Stewie said with a smirk.

"Just did it to show how much a fool he is." Brian said.

"Glad that Borat thought the same thing." Stewie stated.

Emily walked a few blocks down, then she approached the lonely part of New York. Emily felt a little nervous.

"Hey Missy!" Said a threatening voice.

Suddenly, a hand holding a pistol appeared making Emily gasp.

"Get over here." The mugger said.

Emily got scared and did what he said.

"Now hand over what you got in your coat..." The mugger muttered.

Emily slowly and nervously opened her trench coat. Just then, she kicked the pistol off his hands. She was about to do another kick but the mugger pushed her down to the floor. Then, the mugger noticed something about Emily.

"What the hell is this?" The mugger asked confusedly.

He lifted the skirt's helm to reveal her undergarment.

"What kind of sick idea is this?" The mugger asked.

Suddenly, he felt something biting his butt. He turned around and saw that it was Brian who was biting his butt.

"Get off, you damn dog!" The mugger shouted.

Suddenly, he got kicked in the face. The mugger turned around to see who did it. He pulled out his knife as Brian bit him in the arm.

"AAAH!" Mugger screamed as he winced in pain. "You mangy mongrel!"

He shoved Brian to the wall. He was about to punch the dog until Stewie landed a kick on his face knocking him to the side. He was sitting up when Stewie threw a few small punches in the face.

The mugger punched Stewie off of him. This allowed Emily to land a kick on his groin.

"Oh..." The mugger groaned as he held his crotch in pain.

Stewie head-butted the mugger's face.

"Now don't do anything stupid to my sister!" Stewie said to the knocked-out mugger.

"Brian? Stewie?" Emily asked in shock. "What are you two doing here? And Stewie, I thought I told you not to follow me!"

"And let you be mugged and violated by this d***?" Stewie asked. "Yeah, fat chance."

"I'll be fine now! Go back home!" Emily said.

"Alright... Go all alone." Stewie said. "You'll just be walking around in the middle of the night, lost and scared, and you might encounter more muggers who might expose you in your adult diaper. And I know you wouldn't like that."

"Well... you're right about that." Emily muttered.

"What's that, sis?" Stewie asked.

"You guys can come, but only to protect me from more muggers." Emily said.

"I figured you'd say that." Stewie said. "Now let's get back that necklace."

* * *

Everything was black and white. Stewie was dressed like a 1930s detective. "So we arrived at the Big Apple, searching for the lost necklace... It is a big city, the chance for finding it... would be 25 out of 100... So I will come to my only suspect... the person who-" Stewie narrated.

"Uh, Stewie?" Emily interrupted.

The camera panned back to reveal Emily and Brian as the rest of the background was in color.

"What the hell are you doing?" Brian asked.

"I was monologuing." Stewie answered. "What else am I doing?"

"Then why are you all grey?" Emily asked.

"It was supposed to feel like an old-fashioned suspense movie." Stewie answered as he wiped some of the makeup off his face to reveal his true color. "And now you just had to ruin the moment."

"Now, if we need to retrieve the necklace," Stewie said. "We were told that it was taken for a TV jewelry auction on NBC."

"But where do you suppose we will find it?" Brian asked.

"Well, New York is one big tough city," Stewie said as he wiped off some more black and white makeup on him. "The best thing to start is the studio's main building in this city."

"And where's that?" Emily asked.

"I think I know where exacts..." Stewie said.

The trio approached the 30 Rockefeller Plaza building entrance.

"Here we are..." Stewie announced as they walked in.

"Can I help you?" The receptionist asked.

"Yes, do you know what room the jewelry auction is?" Emily asked.

"Why yes, it's up on the 17th floor." The receptionist answered. "However, you'll need an appointment to be on that floor."

"Damn it, we didn't set up an appointment." Stewie said.

"Then, I'm afraid you'll have to leave." The receptionist said.

The trio walked away. Moments later, Cookie Monster walked up to the front desk.

"Excuse me, do you know which floor the late night dessert baking show is on?" Cookie Monster asked.

"Why yes, it's on the-" The receptionist started to say.

Before the receptionist could finish, she saw who it was and turned to the intercom.

"Security breach, we got a Cookie Monster on the loose." She said.

Security ran out and tackled the Cookie Monster.

"No!" Cookie Monster screamed as he tried to squirm. "Must get cookies! Must get-"

Before Cookie Monster could finish, one of the security guards tased him. Cookie Monster yelped with pain and fell unconscious.

Outside, Emily sat in front of the Rockefeller fountain looking glum.

"Emily," Stewie said sympathetically. "What's the matter?"

"What's the matter? You sold my necklace, and now, I'll never get it back!" Emily shouted tearfully.

"Oh come on, I said I was sorry." Stewie said.

"That's not going to work, Stewie! What you did was unforgivable!" Emily yelled.

"What?" Stewie asked nervously.

"That necklace was a precious memory of mine... and you just gave it away! You didn't even care!" Emily shouted with tears rolling down her face.

"But I care after you told me..." Stewie said more nervously.

"But not before! That was very hurtful what you did, Stewie!" Emily said.

"But, sis-" Stewie stammered nervously before getting interrupted.

"Don't call me sister! You're no brother of mine! Not anymore!" Emily yelled.

After quivering his lips for a few seconds, Stewie started to cry.

"Hey, lay off on him! He's just a baby, he can't handle that kind of pressure." Brian said.

Emily didn't answer. She was still cross.

"Oh come on, do you have to do that crappy silent treatment?" Brian asked.

Emily nodded while shedding a few tears.

"Look Emily," Brian said as he picked up Stewie. "We're trying our best to help you. I mean, we've made it this far right now. And now you choose to give up just like that?" Brian asked.

"What choice do I have?" Emily finally said.

"How do you suppose we would get in?" Emily asked.

As Emily and Brian were talking, Stewie was sobbing in Brian's arms. Stewie stopped crying and saw an open air vent. Just then, Stewie had an idea. He squirmed out of Brian's arms and ran up to the vent.

"Stewie! What are you doing?" Brian asked.

Stewie entered the vent and started to climb up.

"Stewie?" Emily asked confused as she and Brian ran up to the vent.

"Stewie, where are you going?" She asked as she poked her head in the vent.

"Stewie, come back down!" Brian called.

Stewie didn't answer as he continued climbing up.

"I think he's trying to get the necklace back." Brian said concerned.

"You don't suppose he'd..." Emily said but couldn't finish her words when she realized what he will do. "Oh no."

"He's going to the 17th floor to steal back your necklace." Brian said in realization. "And on a late night live television show."

"We need to get to the 17th floor!" Emily said.

"But how? We don't have an appointment!" Brian reminded.

"Then we'll have to go in another way." Emily said as she was about to enter the vent. Just then, they noticed Cookie Monster in a holding cell, which gave them both an idea.

Brian set Cookie Monster free and he ran to where the baking show was at.

"Security," The receptionist called on the intercom. "The Cookie Monster has escaped."

Meanwhile, Stewie was in the vent on the ninth floor as he saw a live news program that was on break before the early morning.

"Only 8 more floors until the 17th." Stewie whispered.

After crawling for a few minutes, Stewie looked through the vent and saw a live cooking show for pastries.

"It seems that our time says that the chocolate chip cookies are done." The host said as he pulled out three batches of cookies.

Suddenly, Cookie Monster bursts through the door.

"COOKIES!" Cookie Monster roared.

"Is that Cookie Monster?" Stewie asked himself quietly.

"Me want Cookies!" Cookie Monster roared as he began to rampage on the cookies.

Stewie continued to crawl through the vent. Brian and Emily were crawling in the vent on the 12th floor trying to listen for Stewie.

"Can you hear him?" Emily whispered to Brian.

"I hear him alright." Brian said. "He's heading up further. I don't know how much more time Cookie Monster would give us."

"Let's just keep going." Emily said.

In the 15th floor's vent, Stewie saw a set filming of an SNL skit and Rob Schneider was there. Stewie groaned in disgust and continued on.

Just then, Stewie felt something grumbling in his system.

"Uh oh..." He whispered.

"Please...not now..." Stewie muttered. And without warning, Stewie made a mess in his diaper.

"Awwww, damn it." Stewie groaned.

Stewie's diaper had got the stench coming to Rob Schneider.

"Holy Jesus!" Rob said in disgust.

Meanwhile, Brian and Emily in the hallway of the same floor. Brian sniffed the air and smelt something awful.

"What smells?" Brian asked.

"It certainly wasn't me." Emily said.

"It must have been Stewie! We're getting closer!" Brian said.

"And when we find him," Emily said. "I'm gonna have to change his diaper."

Stewie finally came to the 17th floor. He noticed Emily's necklace on one of the stands.

"Perfect..." Stewie said quietly.

Suddenly, the vent broke and Stewie fell out.

"DAMMIT!" Stewie cussed as he fell to the ground.

"Is that a baby?" One of the male executives asked.

"What's a baby doing here?" The executive woman asked.

Stewie got up from the floor and found all the executives staring at him.

"Uhh... Hello?" Stewie asked as he nervously forced a smile

"And why does he stink?" Another male executive asked.

"My apologies for that." Stewie said politely.

"Does anyone here have this baby?" The female executive asked.

At that moment, Emily and Brian came to this room from the vent.

Stewie saw the necklace on the stand. He ran to the stand and snatched the necklace.

"Hey! You can't take that!" An executive shouted.

"Oh god..." Emily said worriedly.

Suddenly, Emily and Brian leaped out of the broken vent.

"Emily, I got you back what I sold you!" Stewie exclaimed.

"Stewie, I know that you're trying to make it up by returning my necklace, but you didn't have to resort to stealing it." Emily stated.

"Is this baby yours?" One of the executives asked.

"Yes, he is. But he's actually my brother." Emily responded.

She bent down to Stewie's height and picked him up.

"Your brother took something that's private property." The female executive said.

"Yeah... Sorry about that..." Emily said as she regretfully returned the necklace that Stewie stole.

"What?" Stewie asked confusedly. "What are you doing?"

"My brother took it because he sold this necklace to the jewelry shop back in Quahog by mistake. Originally, I came here myself to buy it back..." Emily explained.

"Wait, this necklace is yours?" The male executive asked.

"Well, actually, it used to be my mother's when she wore it to a wedding." Emily explained. "But she died months ago and ever since then, I wore this all the time as a memory to remind myself of her. Now it got sold here by mistake..."

The male executive walked up to Emily.

"You know what? Since this necklace is a precious memory for you, I believe it would be best if you can have it back." He said.

"Wait, really?" Emily asked in shock and confusion.

"Yes, we would like you to keep your memory of your mother." The male executive said.

"But what about the auction?" Brian asked. "Won't they get suspicious?"

"No, we can always replace it." the female executive answered.

"With what?" Stewie asked.

"Some expensive diamonds from some mines." An executive answered.

"Wow... I don't know what to say!" Emily said happily as the executive handed her the necklace. A few tears of happiness trickled down Emily's cheeks.

"I think a 'thank you' would do nicely for them." Stewie said as he took the necklace from Emily and put it on for her.

"Thank you very much!" Emily thanked.

"No problem." One of the male executives said.

"At least this auction wasn't on FOX." The female executive said. "Otherwise, we'd be selfish enough to get more money."

Brian laughed at that comment.

"It's funny 'cause it's true." He commented.

"And before you go, could you take care of the odor situation?" One of the executives asked as he pointed to Stewie.

"Of course. Is there a bathroom around here?" Emily asked.

"It's across the hall." The female executive answered.

"Thanks," Emily said as she went to the restroom to change Stewie.

They walked into the bathroom and Emily opened up the baby changing table. Emily unsnapped Stewie's overalls and pulled them down.

"Once I finish cleaning you up," Emily said. "We should get back to Rhode Island by train before morning."

"Oh, and Stewie?" Emily asked as she unfastened the tapes of Stewie's diaper. "I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier. I shouldn't be yelling at a baby..."

"It's okay, but... I'm the one who should be apologizing." Stewie said.

"I'm truly deeply sorry for what I did and I just wanted to make it up to you by getting the necklace back for you. Emily, can you ever forgive me?" Stewie asked.

"Oh Stewie, of course I do." Emily said as she put on a fresh diaper for Stewie.

Before Emily could pull up his overalls, Stewie suddenly hugged her with his eyes closed. Emily was surprised, but decided to hug Stewie back.

The background music started playing a cover of 'Your Song' by Elton John. The trio left the Rockefeller Center as Cookie Monster was being arrested for breaking and entering.

Later, they were on the Boston Bound Acela Express heading for home. Brian was sitting next to Emily reading a book. Emily was sitting and looking outt the window as Stewie was sleeping in her arms. When the train approached their stop, they got off at Providence Station where Brian's Prius was waiting.

They got into the Prius and Brian drove back home. When they got home, Emily carried Stewie to his room and tucked him into his crib.

"Thank you, Stewie." Emily whispered. "Good night, my little brother."

She leaned in and gently kissed Stewie on the forehead. Emily tiptoed to the door and quietly closed it. As he slept, Stewie formed a small smile on his face.

* * *

A/N: That was Episode 4 of Family Guy EG! Hope you liked this chapter! See you next chapter! Please review!


	5. S1, E5: To Binge or Not to Binge

**A/N: Hey everyone! Here's another chapter of Family Guy EG! Special thanks to Family Guy Fan writer 15 for helping with this chapter! I hope you like it! I do not own Family Guy or the OC, Emily Griffin. Emily Griffin belongs to Family Guy Fan writer 15. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 5: To Binge or Not to Binge

* * *

It was a lovely night in Quahog and the Griffins decided to go out to Olive Garden for dinner. They were dressed nicely. The family walked into the restaurant and a waiter walked up to them.

"How do you do?" The waiter said. "Table for seven?"

"Yes, that's right." Lois answered.

"Follow me." The waiter said before guiding the family to their seat.

The waiter stopped when he reached a large round table. The Griffins walked up to the table and sat down. The waiter gave them the menus.

"I will be back with your glasses of water." The waiter said.

"Thank you." Lois thanked.

"Wow, this place looks really nice." Emily commented.

Then, a waitress walked up to their table.

"Good evening. Welcome to Olive Garden. Would you like to start with any appetizers?" She asked.

"Sure," Peter said, "For appetizers, I'll take the mozzarella sticks?"

"Peter," Lois said sternly. "I told you before, we're not getting mozzarella sticks."

"Awwww..." Peter groaned. "But I want mozzarella sticks!"

"We're not getting any, and that's final!" Lois said in a raised tone.

"Damn it." Peter murmured.

"Well, in that case, are any of you ready to order?" The waitress asked.

"Peter and I will have the salad." Lois said.

"Ahhh... Not salad!" Peter whined.

"I'll take the lasagna." Emily said.

"I'll have the spaghetti." Meg said.

"I'll have the personal size pizza with everything meat." Brian said.

"Mac & cheese for me" Stewie said.

"And I'll have some tacos!" Chris said.

"I'm sorry, we don't have tacos." the waitress said.

"Oh, I understand, but I don't see how can that be a- Whaaaaaaat?!" Chris said in realization.

"Chris, just order something else!" Meg snapped.

"Okay, okay, geez..." Chris said as he looked at the menu. "I'll have what she's having."

"Ok. Your food will be ready soon." the waitress said before leaving.

"Chris, did you even know what she's having?" Brian asked.

"No, I didn't bother reading." Chris answered.

Brian rolled his eyes at Chris's cluelessness.

"I'll better go hit the restroom..." Brian said indignantly.

Brian went into the shared restroom for both men and women. He came up to the sink and washed his face.

"Why do they have to act immaturely...?" Brian said to himself.

He looked at himself in the mirror.

"There goes my chance for a first good impression..." He muttered.

"Is there something wrong?" asked a woman with brown hair tied up in a ponytail.

"Oh, hello..." Brian said, surprised. "I didn't know you were in here."

"It's alright. Hi, I'm Chelsea" She said.

"I'm Brian." He introduced as he shook Chelsea's hand.

"So what brings you here at Olive Garden?" Brian asked.

"Oh, I'm usually come here for some garlic bread and some salad with marinara." Chelsea answered

"Yeah, I mean..." Brian said as he tried to make a good impression. "Who doesn't like a good taste of marinara?"

Chelsea giggled.

"Hey, want to hang out with me this evening?" Chelsea asked.

"Really? I mean, sure." Brian said.

Chelsea wrote something on a piece of paper and handed to Brian.

"Here's my address." She said before leaving the restroom.

Just then, Emily came in with Stewie.

"There you are, Brian". Stewie said as Emily placed her brother on the changing table.

"Did Stewie have an accident?" Brian asked.

"He did." Emily answered as she helped Stewie out of his overalls.

"So, what's up with you, Brian?" Stewie asked.

"I just got a girl's address!" Brian shouted with gusto.

"Did you fall in love with another stranger?" Stewie asked as Emily pulled off the tapes.

"Actually, her name is Chelsea." Brian corrected.

"What's she like? Is she a dumb blonde like Jillian?" Stewie asked.

"No, she has brown hair and she's really nice." Brian said.

"Oh, one of those chicks..." Stewie said. "Hey, easy on the powder, will you?"

"Calm down, Stewie. I'm almost done." Emily assured.

"She gave me her address." Brian said. "Later tonight, I will be meeting her at 1221 Riverside Avenue."

"Good luck blowing yet another relationship." Stewie said.

"What do you mean?" Emily asked as she applied a fresh diaper on him.

"Brian has been on dates with plenty of other girls and pretty much all of them have failed." Stewie explained.

"Why's that?" Emily asked.

"Either he screws up with his words or he has sex with them too soon." Stewie answered. "Just like the last one with the ginger hair."

 **CUTAWAY**

"So Becky, how did you like the steak?" Brian asked as they came back to the Griffins' house.

"It was delicious, Brian" Becky said sweetly.

"So," Brian said. "Does tomorrow sound good?"

"Why yes, Brian." Becky answered. "It does."

Suddenly, the yard's sprinkler system automatically turned on, causing Becky and Brian to get wet.

"Oh my god!" Becky screamed. "I'm melting! Oh, what a world! What a world!"

As she screamed, she melted into a puddle.

"Well, no wonder why you told me you're allergic to water." Brian said.

 **CUTAWAY ENDS**

"Come on, Brian. I think our food's almost ready." Emily said as she and Stewie left the restroom.

"Coming!" Brian called back as he left the restroom as well.

* * *

We cut to an apartment building where Chelsea lives. Brian walks up to the building.

"This must be the place." Brian said as he walked up to the door.

He knocked on the door and waited for an answer.

"Hey, Brian" Chelsea said.

"Hey." Brian answered back.

"Ready for our first date?" She asked.

"You bet, Chelsea." Brian replied.

"So, what do you do for work?" Brian asked as they walked to find a place to eat.

"I work for a vegetation business." Chelsea said.

"What kind?" Brian asked.

"An organic kind." She responded.

"Wow." Brian said. "My family is also like that."

"That's cool." Chelsea said.

"So, where would you like to go?" Brian said.

"I'm thinking of someplace local." Chelsea said.

"Like where?" Brian asked.

"Like Whole Foods or Sprouts." She answered.

"Then that's where we'll go." Brian said.

They were shopping for dinner at Whole Foods.

"So what are you thinking for dinner, Chelsea?" Brian asked. "Pizza? Taco? Or maybe a burger?"

"A veggie burger sounds tasty." Chelsea said.

"A veggie burger? Are you saying that you're a-" Brian said.

"Vegan? Yes." Chelsea finished.

"So, what makes you a vegan?" Brian asked

"Oh, I just avoid eating any products with meat." Chelsea answered.

"How come?" Brian asked

"Because that kind of stuff comes from animals. Vegans don't eat animal products." Chelsea informed.

"Are you sure?" Brian asked.

"Of course I am." Chelsea answered "If I ate a dead animal, I would feel very guilty about it."

"Yeah..." Brian lied with concern. "I feel the same way..."

"Cool. So, are you ready to eat?" Chelsea said.

"I sure am." Brian said as he now decided to become a vegetarian.

"Well, isn't it sweet Jeffrey?" Bruce asked as they were having dinner together.

"I know, right?" Jeffrey answered back.

"And it's sweet like our cupcakes!" Bruce said excitedly.

"I know!" Jeffrey replied excitedly.

Statler and Waldorf sat at a table next to them.

"But I know what's certainly not sweet." Stantler said.

"And what do you suppose that is?" Waldorf asked.

"Rotten jokes from a certain bear!" Stantler replied.

The two elders both chuckled.

* * *

At the Griffin house, Peter and Lois were getting ready for bed.

"Why couldn't I have mozzarella sticks?" Peter pouted. "You gave them to the kids and not me?"

"Peter, quit whining and stop being over dramatic." Lois said. "Besides, it's for your own health. When was the last time you stand on the scale?"

"Scale? What scale? Are you referring to reptile scales?" Peter asked as he pulled out a few reptile scales out of his pocket and showed them to Lois.

"No." Lois said sternly. "I mean that flat device in the bathroom."

"Oh, you mean that thing?" Peter asked. "I thought it was used as a small dance floor for cats."

Lois groaned in frustration.

"We don't even have a cat!" She said.

"Oh..." Peter said in realization.

Peter walked into the bathroom and stood on the scale. Suddenly, the gears and springs popped out. Peter gasped and his eyes widened.

"I think our scale has lost some springs." Peter said.

"See what I mean, Peter?" Lois asked.

"No, I don't." Peter said. "I think it's old and worn out."

"No, it's because you're too fat! That's it, Peter. Starting tomorrow, you're going on a diet." Lois said sternly.

"Aw man..." Peter pouted. "This is more ridiculous then the time I went to New Jersey..."

 **CUTAWAY**

Peter was walking around New Jersey.

"What a dull place." Peter said.

"Hey!" A New Jersey resident called out. "That guy doesn't like our state!"

"Get him!" Another resident shouted.

Peter ran down the street from the angry mob. As they were running, everything paused. "The moral of this cutaway is that you must never make fun of New Jersey, it'll only make your life worse. Plus, the writer's mother was from New Jersey." Peter said in a voice-over.

 **CUTAWAY ENDS**

Downstairs in the living room, Stewie was watching TV. Then, Emily came in the living room.

"Ok, Stewie. Time for bed." Emily said.

"Already Emily?" Stewie complained. "I wasn't even done watching."

"Well, it is getting late. Now, come on." Emily said as she picked up Stewie and carried him upstairs to his room.

Just then, Brian walked into the house.

"Well, look who finally came back home." Emily said.

"So, how was your date, Brian?" Stewie asked teasingly.

"It was great. Chelsea's a really nice girl." Brian answered.

"Why, that sounds wonderful!" Emily exclaimed.

"Thanks." Brian said.

* * *

The next morning, the Griffins are having breakfast. Peter sat down at the table.

"So honey, what's for breakfast?" Peter asked. "Sausages? Bacon? Chocolate Chip and blueberry pancakes?"

"I made you something healthier than those foods." Lois said as she handed him scrambled eggs and oat cereal.

"Lois, what the hell is this?" Peter asked.

"It's eggs and cereal oats." Lois said. "That's what you're having for breakfast."

"You've got to be kidding me." Peter said.

"I'm not." Lois said sternly.

Peter took a spoonful of the oat cereal and slowly put the spoon into his mouth. Peter spat it out in disgust.

"Oh god!" Peter said.

"Oh for God's sake, Peter, it's not that bad! It's good for you! Just eat it!" Lois shouted.

"But it tastes boring!" Peter whined. "It tastes better when it's with cinnamon, chocolate, or even fruit."

"That's because it has no sugar. Which is good for you." Lois said.

"Oh come on!" Peter complained. "Could I at least have something sweet to make it taste better?"

"You could use real fruit." Emily suggested.

"Hey! Good idea, Emily." Peter said.

Peter added a few slices of strawberries into his cereal. He took a spoonful of the cereal and chewed it.

"So, how is it?" Meg asked.

"This tastes good with strawberries!" Peter said as he continued to eat the cereal. "But it's still not the same!"

"You're still going to have to eat it, Peter." Lois reminded. "And your eggs too."

"Ok..." Peter said sadly.

Peter took a bite of his scrambled eggs.

"There's too much pepper." Peter said.

"Peter, stop complaining! You're on a diet and it's going to keep going until you lose weight!" Lois said, annoyed.

"Awwww..." Peter groaned.

Just then, Brian walked in.

"Morning Brian." Lois said as she handed him eggs and bacon. "How was your date last night?"

"It was great." Brian answered. "By the way, could I trade the bacon for the toast?"

"Sure, why?" Lois asked.

"I am a vegan." He answered.

The whole family gasped. Emily felt petrified as she accidentally let go of her fork while she was eating.

"What did you say?" Lois asked.

"I'm a vegan now" Brian repeated.

"Brian." Meg said. "You can't be a vegan."

"Why not?" Brian asked. "Chelsea's a vegan, so I decided to be one."

"Brian, you're a dog! Dogs are carnivores. You need to eat meat in order to survive." Emily stated.

"Oh come on!" Brian said. "You're only saying that because you're jealous!"

"No, I'm saying that because we don't want you to see kill yourself by not eating meat." Emily said.

"Kill myself?" Brian asked. "I'm not killing myself. If I am killing myself, I would be eating chocolate right now."

"Brian, what we're trying to say, is that you won't go very far if you become a vegan." Lois said.

"You know what? I'm skipping breakfast." Brian said before leaving the house and getting into his Prius.

"He's doomed." Stewie said.

"This is definitely not going to end well for Brian." Meg said.

"Well, I better go to work." Peter said.

"Peter, before you go, take this." Lois said.

Lois gave him an egg salad sandwich.

"Lois, what is this?" Peter asked.

"It's an egg salad sandwich, for work." Lois said.

"Why?" Peter questioned.

"For your diet, Peter." Lois said. "Plus you needed protein and a lot of vegetables."

"Awwww..." Peter whined as he grabbed the sandwich.

"Quit complaining." Lois said. "It's for your own good until you lose weight."

* * *

We cut to the Pawtucket Brewery, where Peter is "working". It was almost time for lunch break.

"I can't believe this..." Peter muttered. "Egg salad sandwich... the most disgusting combination ever. Like pineapple on a pizza..."

Peter took a few bites of the sandwich. Peter kept chewing while knowing that it tasted disgusting to him.

"Why couldn't God have my favorite foods be healthy instead?" Peter asked.

 **CUTAWAY**

God was relaxing on his chair reading a magazine. He looked at the readers.

"Don't look at me, I created what I like as healthy food." God said.

 **CUTAWAY ENDS**

"Stupid diet...I wish there was an easier way to lose weight..." Peter muttered.

Just then, Peter had an idea.

"What if I get a journal?" Peter asked to himself.

"Yeah, I could write what I would eat on my diet, but I would actually be eating my favorite foods! Lois will never know!" Peter said. "Hehehehe... Clever me..."

Peter was driving to a fast food drive-thru.

"I'll have two quadruple cheese burgers and two large fries please." Peter said

"Alright. That will be $18.40." The drive-thru speaker said. Peter hands in the cash and parked in the parking lot..

"Aw, sweet. Now I can have a good lunch and Lois won't know!" Peter said.

He then writes down saying he had an egg salad sandwich.

"Hehehehe..." Peter laughed.

During this montage, the song "Hungry like the Wolf" by Duran Duran is playing in the background. Brian drove with Chelsea to a drive-in movie theater.

"So, what movie are we going to see?" Chelsea asked.

"Casablanca." Brian answered.

Once they arrived, they started making out in the car. Then, Fred Flintstone's car parked behind them as Dino popped his head through the roof and Fred and Wilma placed Pebbles and Bam Bam on top of Dino's head. Fred noticed Brian and Chelsea making out.

"Oh yabba-dabba no!" Fred exclaimed as he began to back up. "We ain't watching with the kids looking at THAT! Let's get out of here!"

The car turned around and took off.

Lois gives Peter a veggie burger. Peter acts like he accepts it and takes it while getting into the car. As he backed his car to the road, he tossed the veggie burger into the trash can and drove off. He entered a taco joint and ordered the all-meat tacos.

Brian and Chelsea were at a garden show, they were watching the contest on the largest fruit. The winner of the largest fruit is James with his giant Peach. Violet Beauregard and some Oompa-Loompas felt disappointed for winning second prize. The Oompa-Loompas rolled Violet away.

We cut to Peter having three boxes of Pepperoni pizzas, munching on the slices like a beaver.

Brian and Chelsea were running along the Rhode Island coast. Then, they lied down and rolled around while kissing each other. The waves washed over them as they kissed.

We cut to Peter in the Pac-Man maze eating the floating dots. Pac-Man, Blinky, and Pinky saw this.

"Aw, come on man!" Pac-Man said. "This is our maze!"

"He's not playing fair." Blinky said.

"I agree." Pinky added.

Back at Chelsea's apartment, Brian and Chelsea were in bed. Chelsea's hair is messy and Brian's fur is ruffled.

"Oh man Brian, you are fantastic." Chelsea said.

"So were you." Brian commented.

"Want to make out over some fruit salad?" Chelsea asked.

"Hell yeah..." Brian replied.

They started kissing each other.

* * *

We cut back to Spooner Street as the song ends. In the Griffin house, Stewie was playing a board game with Emily.

Stewie rolled the dice and got nine. He moved his guy nine places.

"Ok, my turn." Emily said, grabbing the dice.

Just then, Brian and Chelsea came in.

"Hey Stewie! Hey Emily!" Brian said.

"Hello, mister unhealthy vegan." Stewie said sternly.

"Stewie, Emily, this is Chelsea." Brian introduced.

"Charmed" Stewie said bluntly.

"So you must be the woman who got Brian into-" Emily started to say.

Before Emily could finish, Brian placed his paw over her mouth.

"Ixnay, Emily, ixnay." Brian quietly muttered to Emily.

Peter and Lois came downstairs.

"Brian, you're home. How was your date?" Lois asked.

"She's actually here." Brian said. "This is Chelsea."

"Oh, so you're Chelsea." Lois said. "Good to finally meet you. I'm Lois."

"Nice to meet you, Lois." Chelsea greeted as she shook hands with Lois.

"So tell me," Peter said. "If you're a vegetarian, how do you manage to get some protein?"

"Oh, I just eat low-fat and soy products." Chelsea answered.

I see..." Lois said as she thought of what to cook for Peter.

"Lois, you sure do have a cute son." Chelsea said as she picked up Stewie and held him in her arms.

"Oh please..." Stewie said. "Spare me the details..."

"That's my youngest son, Stewie." Lois said. "And over here is my daughter, Emily."

Emily waved at Chelsea.

Meg and Chris came downstairs.

"Mom, Meg won't let me use her cap for when I watch disgusting videos!" Chris whined.

"Chris, I told you before, my cap is not used for barfing." Meg argued.

"Stop arguing, you two." Lois said sternly. "We have a guest."

"We do?" Chris asked.

"Yes. This is Chelsea, Brian's girlfriend." Lois said.

"Well, how do you do?" Meg said as she shook Chelsea's hand. "I'm Meg, the eldest sibling."

"I'm Chris!" Chris introduced him excitedly.

"It's nice to meet you two." Chelsea said.

"And I'm Peter by the way." Peter introduced.

"Nice to meet you, Peter." Chelsea greeted.

Chelsea looked at her watch.

"Well, it was nice to meet you all, but I'd best be going home now. Same time tomorrow, Brian?" Chelsea said.

"You bet, babe." Brian replied.

Chelsea kissed Brian and left.

"So, Brian." Lois said.

"What?" Brian asked confusedly.

"How long are you going to keep up with your vegan charade?" Lois asked.

"Oh, it's not a charade. I am officially a vegan now." Brian declared.

"Brian," Stewie said. "You need the right calories to live, and they're from more than just vegetarian meals, you know."

"Oh Stewie, don't worry too much, I feel-" Brian started to say.

Before Brian could finish, he suddenly puked.

"Oh my God!" Lois cried.

"I'm still fine" Brian said in denial as he walked upstairs.

"His digestion is rejecting too much vegetation..." Emily said to Stewie. "I can obviously tell that's not a good sign."

"Indeed." Stewie agreed.

* * *

Three days later, the Griffins were having breakfast. Peter walks into the kitchen looking the same.

"Alright Lois," Peter said. "I'm off to work."

"Ok, Peter." Lois said.

As soon as Peter left, Lois turned to Emily.

"What's wrong, Mom?" Emily asked.

"I've been trying to get Peter to lose weight by putting him on a diet. But so far, he looks like he hasn't lost any weight at all." Lois explained.

"That is strange..." Emily said. "You don't suppose that's how he naturally looks, do you?"

"Well, he is looking a little bit fatter than usual." Lois noted.

"Okay, that is unusual..." Emily said. "Nobody gets fat on greens unless he ate way too much."

Lois froze as Emily's last five words echoed in her head.

"Oh my God..." Lois whispered.

"What?" Emily asked.

"I think Peter has been cheating on his diet." Lois stated.

"How can you be sure?" Emily asked.

"I don't know, but I'm going to find out." Lois said. "Could you watch Stewie for me?"

She left the house quickly.

"What's going on?" Stewie asked as he walked into the kitchen for breakfast.

"Mom left to check on something." Emily answered.

"What sort of something?" Stewie asked

"Something about Dad." Emily said. "But we need to do something to help Brian."

"I know what you mean, sis." Stewie said. "He hasn't got enough calories and he's losing fat."

Brian was already looking worse as he came to the kitchen. He's a little skinnier and he has dark circles under his eyes.

"Oh God, Brian! You look awful!" Stewie said as he saw Brian.

"More like healthy to the bone." Brian said.

"Look at yourself, Brian." Emily said. "You need iron and calcium. And I know that soy doesn't have any of that."

"I'm fine, and I'm going to continue to be fine." Brian said.

"No you're not, Brian." Stewie said. "Stop being in denial. You're in the worst condition then the Beast when he got rabies."

 **CUTAWAY**

Beast saves Belle from a pack of wolves and one of them bit him in the arm. After the wolves left, Beast turned to Belle.

"Are you alright Belle?" The Beast asked.

"I'm fine, thank you. But I don't know about you..." Belle said with concern.

"What do you mean?" The Beast asked

"From the looks of some of the wolves, they seemed to act crazy." Belle replied.

"I'm sure it's no big deal..." The Beast said.

We cut to the Beast sitting on his chair but his mouth was foaming and his body was twitching.

"This is worse than I thought..." Lumiere whispered.

"The master's suffering." Cogsworth said. "What must we do?"

"I'm afraid he'll have to be put down." Belle said as she held up a rifle. Just then, Travis from 'Old Yeller' appeared.

"No, Belle." Travis said as he took the gun. "I'll do it."

He shot the Beast making Belle traumatized.

 **CUTAWAY ENDS**

"That's it, Emily. The next date that Brian goes on with Chelsea, we're going too." Stewie stated.

"But Stewie," Emily said with concern. "If we go, he might see us."

"Not if we're dressed in disguise." Stewie said. "And I've got just the thing."

* * *

Meanwhile, Lois was running down the street.

'Peter must be around here somewhere.' She thought.

She spotted the station wagon parked in front of a doughnut shop.

"There you are, Peter." Lois whispered.

Lois went inside the doughnut shop to find that Peter was nowhere to be seen.

'That's weird. Peter isn't here, but the car is.' She thought.

"Excuse me." Lois said to the doughnut clerk. "I'm looking for a fat guy who wears glasses, a white shirt, and green pants. Is he here?"

"Nope," The clerk replied. "He just parked here and went across the street."

"Thank you." Lois thanked before leaving the donut shop and running across the street.

Across the street was a taco shop where Peter was inside ordering.

'Ah-ha! I've got you now, Peter!' Lois thought.

She came inside the taco shop holding two doors open like an outlaw coming into a bar.

Everyone turned their heads to look at her. Peter turned around and gasped.

"Peter Griffin!" Lois yelled sternly.

"Uh... hi Lois..." Peter said nervously.

"So, you've been cheating on your diet this whole time?!" Lois shouted in anger.

"What do you mean?" Peter asked nervously. "I was just ordering a vegetarian taco."

"Don't try to fool me. I know that you've been eating unhealthy food behind my back." Lois said.

"How could I?" He asked nervously as he held out his journal. "My journal says it otherwise..."

"Let me see that." Lois said as she grabbed the journal and opened it.

She looked inside and saw what Peter has been 'eating.'

"Veggie burger, vegetarian taco, vegetable pizza. Peter, do you really expect to believe this?" Lois said.

"Sure, I mean, why would I be lying?" Peter asked.

"Because I can see a fallen pepperoni that's been there for three days." Lois replied as she showed the obvious.

Peter looked at his journal and saw the pepperoni on the page.

"Oops..." He said sheepishly.

"I knew you were up to this." Lois said.

"Lois, I'm sorry. I just can't help myself when it comes to foods like these." Peter said.

"I'll forgive you when you REALLY order the vegetarian taco." Lois said sternly.

"OK." Peter said.

Peter turned to the cashier.

"I'll take the vegetarian taco." Peter said.

Then, Peter and Lois were sitting at a table as she watched him eat the taco.

"There," Lois said "That wasn't so bad now, was it?"

"I guess so." Peter said with a small smile.

"Now that's good." Lois said.

* * *

We cut to the same restaurant where Brian and Kate broke up. Emily and Stewie walk into the restaurant with their disguises.

"Name please?" The waiter asked.

"Umm... George and Martha Banks?" Stewie said nervously as he forced a smile.

"All right. Follow me." The waiter said as he motioned for Stewie and Emily to follow him.

The waiter guided them to their table, handed them menus, and left.

"Wow..." Stewie said amazed. "I didn't expect that we would pull it off with the Martha thing. Though it shouldn't make a difference with Superman and Batman."

 **CUTAWAY**

We cut to the scene where Superman and Batman were fighting each other in that god awful 2016 film.

"What are you trying to fight me for?" Superman asked. "I was trying to save my mom Martha."

Batman stopped fighting Superman.

"Martha?" Batman asked. "Your mother's name is Martha?"

"Yeah, so?" Superman replied.

"My mother's name is Martha." Batman said.

"Is your mom's last name Kent?" Superman asked.

"No." Batman replied.

"That doesn't make a difference, does it?" Superman said.

"Guess not..." Batman said.

There was a five second pause and then they went back to fighting.

 **CUTAWAY ENDS**

"Look," Emily said softly. "There's Brian."

They see Brian who is just two tables near them.

"My God." Stewie said. "He doesn't look so good..."

"Are you sure you're alright Brian?" Chelsea asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Brian said groggily.

Brian tried to take another bite of his vegan meal. Brain weakly got the broccoli into his mouth and weakly chewed before swallowing.

"Never better..." Brian croaked.

Suddenly, Brian collapsed. Chelsea gasped and got up from her seat.

"Brian?" Chelsea asked in concern. "Brian?"

Her yelling gets the customers' attention.

"Brian! Oh no." Chelsea said.

"Oh no." Stewie said.

"Oh no!" Emily said with worry.

"Oh no!" Bruce cried as he and Jeffrey were at the table next to them.

"Oh no!" Jeffrey cried.

"Oh no!" The waiter shrieked.

"OH YEAH!" The Kool-Aid guy called out as he burst through the wall.

Everyone in the restaurant stared at him. The Kool-Aid Man awkwardly stepped outside and ran off.

"This isn't good." Stewie said as he ran up to Brian. "Brian?! BRIAN?! Speak to me! I knew this was prone to happen if a dog didn't eat any meat!"

"We need to get him an ambulance!" Chelsea cried.

"He actually needs nutrition!" Stewie said.

"Does anyone have any meat?!" Emily called out.

"I do." Bruce answered as he got up with his plate of steak.

"Then I'll be needing that." Stewie said as he took the plate.

Emily leaned Brian against her. Stewie cut up the steak and put a piece into Brian's mouth. Stewie helped Brian chew and swallow while Emily stroked his throat downwards to help get it through. They repeated the same step twice.

"Brian? Can you hear me?" Stewie asked.

"Brian? Speak to me!" Emily said.

Brian's eyes slowly opened.

"Oh my God, he's waking up!" Stewie yelled.

"Brian. Thank God you're alright..." Emily said.

"Stewie...?" Brian asked weakly.

"Rest yourself, Brian." Emily said as Stewie put another bit of stake into Brian's mouth. Brian slowly chewed and swallowed.

"Emily?" Brian asked weakly. "What... are you... doing here?"

"We knew that you wouldn't survive as a vegetarian, so we tagged along. You passed out and if we didn't have any meat to feed you, you would've been dead. We were so worried about you, Brian..." Stewie said as a tear trickled down his cheek.

"Stewie..." Brian said weakly.

"Is this why you passed out?" Chelsea asked.

Brian turned and saw her.

"Yes Chelsea..." He said weakly. "I should've told you sooner, but... I'm a carnist…I'm so sorry..."

"I knew you had to be one." Chelsea said "I mean, you are a dog."

"Wait, you knew?" Brian asked confusedly.

"Of course I knew." Chelsea answered. "You tried bravely to be vegan and I was worried that you might get sick. And yet you lied to me, you lied saying you're alright when you weren't! In fact, I should be the one who's breaking up!"

Chelsea walked off angry.

"Chelsea..." Brian said concerned.

He wanted to go after her, but he was too weak to move. All he could do was to lean against Emily.

"Don't worry, Brian. We're here for you." Emily assured as she caressed Brian.

"Just eat up and get your strength back, Bri." Stewie said as he handed him another steak. "You enjoying your steak, Brian? Doesn't it taste delicious?"

Stewie's voice was getting higher pitched as he continued to ask.

"You need anything else with your steak? Like chicken wings or sausages? Or even a loaf of ham?"

Then, Stewie's high-pitch tone went back to normal.

"Yeah, you know we'll be ordering you some."

"We'll have the ham and turkey." Emily said placing an order.

"Thanks, guys." Brian muttered as he smiled weakly.

* * *

The next day, at the Griffin house, Lois served Brian the meat he needed to get his strength back.

"It's so nice to get back to your own roots, Brian." Lois said.

"Thanks, Lois. This whole situation has taught me a very valuable lesson." Brian declared.

"It's right to be a vegan." Brian said "But sometimes, you need the meat to get the right minerals for your system."

"That's right, Bri." Stewie agreed.

Peter walked into the kitchen.

"Hey guys?" Peter said. "Where's my dinner? I didn't ask for any pasta salad for dinner."

Peter noticed the meat that Brian was eating.

"Oh come on!" Peter exclaimed.

* * *

 **A/N: That was Episode 5 of Family Guy EG! Hope you liked this chapter! See you next chapter! Please review!**


	6. S1, E6: Christmas with the Griffins

**A/N: Hey everyone! Here's another chapter of Family Guy EG! Special thanks to Family Guy Fan writer 15 for helping with this chapter! I hope you like it! I do not own Family Guy or the OC, Emily Griffin. Emily Griffin belongs to Family Guy Fan writer 15. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 6: Christmas with the Griffins

* * *

It was a snowy morning on Spooner Street. In the Griffin house, the TV was on, showing Channel 5 News. Tom and Joyce were dressed festively for the holidays.

"Ho ho ho." Tom said. "This is Tom Tucker."

"And Joyce Kinney." Joyce said.

"Our top story, it's Christmas everybody!" Tom said.

"The time of the year has come, everything's gotten decorated for the whole month." Joyce said.

Just then, the TV turned off. Emily put down the remote and started to prance joyfully around the house.

"That time of the year is arriving once again..." Emily said with bliss.

She skipped into the kitchen where Lois was getting breakfast ready.

"Good morning, Emily. My, you look very happy today." Lois said.

"I know, right?" Emily said. "The holidays are coming, and it's the first time for me to spend with my new family."

"That's wonderful, honey. Do you think you can get your little brother? It's almost time for his breakfast." Lois said.

"Why sure." Emily replied. "I've already got a cute outfit for him to make him festive."

"I can't wait to see it." Lois said.

Emily came up to Stewie's room where he was still asleep.

"Stewie..." Emily said softly.

Stewie softly opened his eyes to see his sister looking at him.

"Good morning, Stewie." Emily said.

"Morning already?" Stewie asked as he yawned.

"And that's not all... it's Christmas time!" Emily said.

"Already?" Stewie asked.

Emily then sniffed something.

"Oh, smells like someone needs a change!" She said as she picked up Stewie and brought him to the changing table.

Emily unzipped Stewie's pajamas. She then unfastened the tapes on Stewie's diaper.

"Well, doesn't that look like a pleasant gift you offered." Emily teased.

"Says the girl who has it too." Stewie said with a smirk. Emily glared at Stewie for a brief moment. She then took off his old diaper and got a new one.

"And once I get this on, I bought this nice outfit that would suit you for the occasion." Emily said as she fastened a new diaper on Stewie.

"What outfit?" Stewie asked.

Emily brought in Stewie in the kitchen. Stewie is wearing shoes, his diaper, and a Christmas sweater.

"Oh! My God! He looks so adorable!" Lois shouted.

"But it's kind of itchy..." Stewie muttered.

Chris, Meg, and Peter came downstairs for breakfast.

"Morning Lois," Peter said. "Thinking about scrambling some eggnog?"

"Sure, I can make you some eggnog." Lois said.

"Hey, nice Christmas sweater." Peter said to Stewie.

"Thanks, Fatman." Stewie thanked.

Emily came up to Peter and hugged him.

"I gave him the sweater." Emily said.

"And it's still itchy." Stewie complained

Brian came in wearing a scarf and a World War I aviator cap.

"Morning, Brian." Emily said.

"Morning, everyone." Brian said.

He sat at the table as Lois gave everyone their breakfast. As the family was eating breakfast, Emily had an idea.

"Hey, I was thinking, we should throw a Christmas party at our house!" Emily said.

"That's a lovely idea Emily." Lois replied.

"So, who wants to take care of invitations?" Emily asked.

Everyone else just pondered. Then, Peter and Brian raised their hands to volunteer for the job of invitations.

"Me and Peter can take care of the invitations." Brian said.

"Are you sure?" Lois asked. "He'll most likely send them to the wrong places."

"Actually, Peter, maybe you can help with decorating the house. Me and Emily can do the invitations." Brian said.

"Sure, why not?" Emily asked.

After breakfast, Lois went upstairs to the attic to get the box of Christmas decorations.

"Let's see..." Lois said as she looked around. "Valentines... Easter... Independence Day... Ah. Here it is."

She came down the attic holding the box of Christmas decorations.

"Alright, here's the box of decorations." She said as she placed the box on the ground. She then felt the urge to start a musical number.

Lois: Come on now, show some cheer

Christmas time is coming here

Another day for the greatest time of year

Emily: Come on, show some care

Outside, there's snow everywhere

Everyone's got their love to spare

Stewie: Christmas can be great and all

Receiving presents short and tall

But the downside here is ugly sweaters

Can't you see they make me itch?!

Meg: Making cookies

Ain't it sweet?

Gingerbread to chocolate chip

Would be a real treat

Chris: And all the gifts we get

It's just so darn great!

For Christmas time

I just hate to wait

Peter: I always enjoy the time of life

Whenever we see the snow delight.

Brian: Bring it up to trim the lights.

Emily: What are you waiting for? A snowball fight?

Emily opened the door and she, Meg, Chris, and Stewie ran outside. Brian took out some Christmas lights from the decoration box.

Stewie: Have you ever try to write you name

Right into the deep white snow

Emily: Why would you do that?

You should take this as a no

Peter: And look over there, it's our pal Joe

"Merry Christmas, Peter!" Joe called out.

"Merry Christmas! Wanna come to our Christmas party tomorrow?" Peter asked.

"Love to, but we can't," Joe said. "We're spending the holiday in Alaska."

"Okay. Hope you have fun in Alaska!" Peter said.

Lois: Bringing down our Christmas tree

Brian: I should mark it with my pee

"Not in the house, you don't." Lois said sternly.

Chris: I would like to ride my sled

Down the hill to the iced bed

Meg: Go ahead

Chris sledded down the snowy hill.

"Not my rosebud!" Emily shouted.

Peter: Roasting chestnuts by the open fire

And by roasting, I mean by telling jokes

Lois hung the stockings while Brian put some Christmas lights on the tree.

Stewie: Ham and turkey to our feast,

Enough to fit an entire beast

Emily: Couldn't be enough to say the least

Emily wrote down some invitations for the Christmas party as Chris and Meg put some ornaments on the tree.

Chris: Are we hanging apples on our tree?

Meg: Those are ornaments, can't you see

Chris: But they sure look like apples to me

Chris took a bite and screamed in pain.

Chris: Ow! Now, I see! I'm sorry!

Emily: Sending invites to our family

Such as my grandparents and yours

Lois: Almost done with our Christmas chores

Stewie, would you like put the star on the tree?

Stewie: Yes, I would!

Stewie ran to Lois and grabbed the star ornament. Lois picked him up and held him high. Stewie placed the star on the tree.

Everyone: Seems that we're set when Christmas is on its wayyyy

Emily was finished with the invitations.

"Come on, Brian. Let's go mail these." She said.

Emily and Brian walked to the post office.

"Oh, hey Emily." Cleveland said. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too. Hey, do you think you can mail these?" Emily said.

"Why sure." Cleveland said. "I was just on the last day of mailing before the holidays."

"Thank you. See you, Cleveland!" Emily said.

"See you too." Cleveland said.

Cleveland put the invitations in his mail bag and left the post office to mail them.

"Invitations all set." Emily said as she was looking forward to a huge family reunion.

"Let's go back home." Brian said.

* * *

At the Griffin house, Peter, Lois and Stewie were watching TV.

"We now return to 'The Polar Express 2" The TV announcer said.

 **TV CUTAWAY**

The Polar Express train was riding on its tracks.

"Off to the North Pole again!" The conductor said to the kids who are now adults.

"Sir, we're full grown adults. Why are you bringing us to the North Pole?" One of the 'kids' asked.

The conductor tried to think of a reason.

"To experience the magic again?" He answered in question.

"We've experienced the magic many times before!" One of the 'kids' shouted.

The conductor realized that the kid had a point.

"I miss the good ol' days..." The conductor said.

 **TV CUTAWAY ENDS**

Emily and Brian opened the door.

"We took care of the invitations." Brian said.

"That's wonderful." Lois said.

"So who did you invite?" Peter asked

"I invited Quagmire, Cleveland, Joyce Kinney, and some other members of this family." Emily replied.

"Wait a minute..." Lois said. "You invited Joyce Kinney?"

"Why yes, why- oh..." Emily said in realization.

Lois crossed her arms.

"Mom, I'm sorry. But she's my aunt. I really would like it for her to be at this Christmas party." Emily said. "I forgot you didn't get along with her ever since the stuff you told me about."

"But maybe you can try to make amends with her. After all, that was the past." Emily suggested.

"She's got a point there." Brian said.

* * *

The next day, the family was getting the party ready. Peter, Meg, Lois, and Brian were preparing the food at the house and Emily, Chris, and Stewie were at the Quahog Mall looking for gifts to give to their family and friends.

"Oh my gosh." Chris said. "This stand is selling churros."

"Chris, we're here to buy gifts, not churros." Emily said.

"Awww..." Chris said in disappointment.

"Why couldn't I just wear my usual clothes instead of this torturing sweater?" Stewie asked while scratching.

He is still wearing his ugly sweater, boots, and a diaper.

"Seriously, it feels like I'm getting chicken pox again." Stewie added.

"Mom and I think you look so cute in that sweater." Emily said.

"And what the deuce is this sweater even made of? Poison oak?" Stewie asked.

"It's made out of wool and fabric." Emily answered.

"Oh... Why can't it be cotton or silk?" Stewie complained. "It feels like small trimmings left in someone's hair after a haircut!"

"Stewie, stop complaining. We need to find some gifts for our family and friends." Emily said.

"Easy for you to say." Stewie said. "You're not wearing an ugly sweater."

Emily was busy looking for what gifts to give.

"Now let's see now..." Emily said to herself while looking. "What should I give?"

Chris entered a shop looking for something. Suddenly, there was a bell ringing as a two men and a woman came up to Chris.

"Congratulations!" The first man exclaimed. "You're today's 100th contestant!"

"And because of this, you win a grand prize." The woman in the group said.

"Really? What do I win?" Chris asked excitedly.

"A box containing 12 fruitcakes!" The second man said.

"Yay!" Chris cheered as the woman handed him the box.

"Wait what?" Chris asked as he now realized what he won. Chris's arms fell down as he held the box.

"Why the fruitcakes?" Chris asked.

"This is a fruitcake shop!" One of the guys said.

"Oh no." Chris whispered.

Chris was now struggling with the box. As Emily and Stewie were walking, Emily noticed Chris holding the box.

"Chris? What's with the box?" Emily asked.

"I became the 100th customer at a fruitcake shop..." Chris replied.

"Well, how many fruitcakes are in the box?" Emily asked.

"Twelve." Chris answered.

"Oh my goodness..." Emily whispered.

"Can I just give it to someone who would be stupid enough to take it?" Chris asked.

"That could be easier said than done since it's hard to find someone who likes fruitcake." Emily said.

"Can we please find some gifts so we can go home?" Chris asked. "And maybe someone who can carry this box?"

Emily looked around for some gifts.

"What if I could buy them some nice Christmas sweaters for gifts?" Emily asked herself out loud.

"Please don't..." Stewie said as they walked into a clothing store.

They walked into the aisle where Christmas sweaters were on sale.

"Ooh..." Emily said. "How about this one?"

She showed one of the sweaters to Stewie.

"It better not be an itchy type." Stewie said. "If it's not itchy, I want to wear it."

"Sorry Stewie, but it's not for you." Emily said.

"Awwww..." Stewie whined.

"Can we please go to a toy store so I can buy a wagon for this box?" Chris complained.

"I guess so..." Emily said as they left the clothing store.

They come out of the toy store with the box on a wagon. However, Chris is struggling to pull the wagon.

"It's still heavy even with the wagon!" Chris said.

* * *

Back at the Griffin house, the dinner table is set with many chairs and plates. Lois and Meg were placing the food on the table.

"So, where should I place the pudding?" Meg asked.

"Place it in the kitchen. That's one of the desserts. We'll get the desserts later." Lois said.

"And what about the cookies?" Meg asked

"Cookies!" Cookie Monster said as he appeared behind Meg.

Meg screamed and grabbed a frying pan. She hit Cookie Monster on the head, knocking him unconscious.

"How did he get in here?" Meg asked.

"Doesn't matter. Just get him out of the house." Lois said.

Meg opened the door and dragged Cookie Monster's body outside. Meg walked back inside and closed the door, leaving Cookie Monster outside in the snow. After she closed the door, he woke up. Meg quickly locked the door.

"Hey, let me in!" Cookie Monster said. "Me just want cookies."

"Too bad! You can't have any!" Meg shouted.

"Awww..." Cookie Monster whined as he left.

"Whew. That was close." Meg said.

"What was all that about?" Peter asked.

"Cookie Monster was about to steal some cookies that we made." Meg answered.

The door opened and Emily, Stewie, and Chris walked in.

"You're back already?" Peter asked. "And what with that huge box?"

"Oh no..." Lois said. "Don't tell me you became today's 100th contestant at the fruitcake shop."

"I did..." Chris said nervously. "Sorry..."

"There's 12 fruitcakes in the box." Emily pointed out.

"Well, what are we going to do about these fruitcakes?" Meg asked.

"Maybe we should eat them." Peter said.

He opened the box, grabbed a fruitcake and took a bite. After a few seconds, Peter spitted out the cake.

"This tastes terrible!" Peter shouted. "Who invented this trash?!"

"What are we going to do? The people that we invited will be here any minute!" Emily said.

"But what about me?" Stewie asked complaining while scratching. "Couldn't someone get this ghastly sweater off of me?!"

Emily looked at Stewie.

"Alright, Stewie. I got something better for you to wear." Emily said.

"Yes! Finally!" Stewie yelled happily.

Then, Stewie felt something on his head. Emily just put a headband with antlers on his head. She then got a small red ball and placed it on Stewie's nose.

"DAMMIT DR. SEUSS!" Stewie shouted.

"Oh, Stewie! You look so adorable as Rudolph!" Lois said as Stewie made an angry face.

"Hey, Lois! Can you come here for a few seconds?" Peter asked.

Lois walked to the doorway where Peter was standing.

"What is it, Peter?" She asked.

"Look up." Peter said.

Lois lifted her head to find some mistletoe. Lois giggled as she knew what this meant. Lois and Peter leaned in for a kiss. Stewie pointed to inside of his mouth to show disgust. Emily just smiled at the romantic moment.

"I hate this so much..." Stewie muttered to himself.

He swiped the red ball off his nose.

Brian ran for it, picked it up with his mouth and brought it back to Stewie.

"I wasn't playing fetch." Stewie said.

Emily noticed the red ball and put it back on Stewie's nose.

"Oh no, Emily don't put it back!" Stewie said panicking as she put it back on his nose. "Oh, it's got dog slobber!"

Just then, the doorbell rang. Peter and Lois broke their kiss.

"I'll get it." Emily said.

She opened the door to reveal the Pewterschmidts.

"Who the hell are you?" Carter asked. "Are we at the wrong house?"

"Mom! Dad!" Lois said as she walked up to the door and gave her parents a hug.

"Hello Lois." Barbara said. "Happy holidays."

"Don't say like that, Babs..." Carter said grumpily. "We're not a Jewish family."

"Who is this with you, Lois?" Barbara asked.

"Oh, this is my new daughter Emily." Lois said.

"You didn't tell me you've got another daughter." Carter said.

"Well, she's technically my step-daughter Peter had when he was drunk 15 years ago." Lois explained.

"Then, why is she here?" Carter asked.

"Her real mother died in a car crash months ago." Lois replied.

"Oh my goodness!" Barbara said in shock.

"Like if I care." Carter replied.

"Well, that's rude..." Emily muttered.

"Come inside." Lois said as she allowed her parents to come inside the house.

"Aww..." Carter said as he looked at Stewie. "Who let the reindeer in the house?"

Emily giggled at Carter's comment.

"I didn't asked to be treated like Max." Stewie said. "I'd rather be in just a diaper than this..."

"By the way grandson," Barbara said. "I've got an early Christmas present for you."

"What is it?" Stewie asked excitedly. "Is it Christmas cookies?"

"I hope it's not fruitcake..." Chris muttered.

"Close your eyes and wait and see." Barbera said.

Stewie closed his eyes. Barbara pulled out a present and placed it on Stewie's hands. Stewie opened his eyes to find another ugly sweater.

"You've gotta be f***ing kidding me..." Stewie grumbled.

"Oh my God, doesn't that look cute!" Lois said excitedly.

"Oh no, not again!" Stewie exclaimed.

Brian snickered. Stewie glared coldly at Brian.

"Anyway," Carter said. "I also got you something for you, Griffin."

He handed Peter a box which felt very heavy.

"What the hell is in this box?" Peter asked.

Peter opened the box to find fruitcake inside.

"Oh no!" Peter groaned in agony.

"Ha ha!" Carter said tauntingly. "I knew you would be disappointed."

Lois heard a knock on the door and opened it to reveal Carol.

"Hey Carol." Lois said.

"Hi Lois." Carol replied.

Carol walked in the house and saw Emily.

"Hello, I haven't seen you before." Carol said.

"Hi, I'm Emily." Emily introduced.

"Nice to meet you." Carol said.

"Emily is my new daughter." Lois explained.

"New daughter?" Carol asked in surprise.

"It's a long story that'll waste so much minutes on this episode." Emily said.

"Emily, this is Carol, my sister." Lois said. "Well, actually more like your step-aunt."

Emily smiled at Carol.

"Well, pleasure to see you." Emily said.

"And she wears adult diapers 24/7." Stewie said as he scratched himself.

"Stewie!" Emily scolded.

"Come on," Stewie said. "She has to know because she's your aunt."

"Is that true?" Carol asked.

"Yes, it's true." Emily answered.

"Emily has a condition where she can't control her urinary and fecal movement." Lois said.

"That's terrible!" Carol said.

"I know." Emily said as she lifted her skirt exposing her undergarment. "That's the exact reason I had to wear these."

Carol had a sympathetic look on her face.

"So, yeah." Emily said. "I won't be getting out of these."

Carol gave Emily a comforting hug.

"So sorry to hear that." Carol whispered.

Emily hugged Carol back.

The doorbell rang again.

"Excuse me..." Emily said as Carol let go of Emily.

Emily walked up to the door and answered it to find Quagmire.

"Hey Emily." Quagmire said. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too, Quagmire." Emily said as she let Quagmire in.

"Well, look at you." Quagmire said to Stewie. "Don't you look cozy in that sweater."

"I'm not feeling cozy!" Stewie snapped. "I'm itchy! I hate Christmas sweaters."

Quagmire walked up to Peter and gave him a box in wrapping paper.

"Merry Christmas, Peter." Quagmire said.

"I hope it's not fruitcakes..." Peter said. "This house has already too much."

Peter opens the present to reveal a Sega Genesis.

"Oh my God..." Peter said in amazement. "A Sega Genesis!"

"Thanks, Quagmire!" Peter thanked.

"I haven't had one since I got one in 1992." Peter said

 **CUTAWAY**

In 1992, a young Peter is at the video game store. He is excited to get a Sega Genesis.

"Oh my God! A Sega Genesis!" Peter exclaimed. "I wonder if it could play games with my peanut butter and jelly."

We cut to him at home with the Sega Genesis.

"Now to play PB&J." Peter said.

Peter poured peanut butter and strawberry jelly into the console. The console shot some sparks and turned off. Peter cried in disappointment.

 **CUTAWAY ENDS**

The doorbell rang again. Emily answered the door to see Cleveland and his family.

"Hey y'all!" Cleveland exclaimed. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas! Come on in!" Emily said.

Rallo noticed Stewie in just a sweater, a diaper and a headband with antlers.

"What's with the getup?" Rallo asked.

"My half-sister and mother had me wear these." Stewie answered.

"Oh... That makes sense." Rallo said. "At least my sweaters are made of cotton."

"Lucky." Stewie mumbled.

"Cleveland! Glad that you could make it!" Peter said.

"Merry Christmas, Peter." Cleveland said.

"I got you something by the way." Peter said as he handed Cleveland a present.

Cleveland opened it to reveal an old fashioned beer mug.

"Sweet! Thanks, Peter!" Cleveland shouted.

"No problem buddy." Peter said.

The doorbell rang again, Peter answers it to find Joyce Kinney.

"Oh, hey Joyce." Peter greeted.

"Hello Peter," Joyce said. "How's my niece doing here living with her real father?"

"She's doing great! She loves it here." Peter replied. "Come inside."

"Hey Emmy." Joyce said.

"Hey Aunt Joyce." Emily said as she hugged Joyce.

"How was it living here so far?" Joyce asked.

"It's wonderful. I love living with my new family." Emily answered.

"Hey Emily, I just got the dinner preparations ready and-" Lois said.

She gasped as soon as she saw Joyce.

"Oh, hello Lois." Joyce said blankly.

"Hello Joyce." Lois said through gritted teeth.

"Still proud of your dignity?" Joyce asked.

"Yes. But I'm still mad at you for almost ruining my reputation at church!" Lois said.

"I had to get back at you somehow." Joyce said. "You did humiliate me at high school."

"You should at least get over it." Emily said. "It was all in the past. My real mom kept telling you that before you heard that she died in a car accident caused by drunk frat boys which left me incontinent."

Emily gasped as she realized that she revealed her secret in front of her aunt.

"Oh my God...Emily...is that true?" Joyce asked in complete shock. "You're incontinent?"

"Yes..." Emily confessed as she lifted her skirt to reveal her undergarment.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" Joyce asked.

"I wasn't sure how you would take it." Emily said.

"Though the situation isn't about me." Emily stated.

"If it's about Lois, I can't say that Lois didn't deserve my payback." Joyce said.

"She had enough payback already." Emily said.

Joyce and Lois glared at each other. Emily rubbed her eye bridge. "This is getting harder than it looks..." she said to herself.

"Not as hard as taking off this itchy sweater." Stewie said. "Can you get this off already?!"

"Not now, Stewie." Emily said back.

Joyce and Lois were still angry at each other and Emily was trying to think of a way for them to make amends.

"Oh, what to do? What to do?" Emily asked herself as she tried to think of a solution.

"Perhaps I could help." Brian said as he walked up to Emily.

"How?" Emily asked.

"Maybe you should focus on their positive vibes." Brian suggested.

"Positive vibes..." Emily said as she started brainstorming.

Inside Emily's brain, an office board meeting was going on.

"Alright," The head executive said. "We're getting a brain storm here, anyone got any 'positive vibe' suggestions?"

The executives all looked in their files. They opened their folders to look for any 'positive vibes'.

"Can each of you tell me your suggestions?" The head executive asked.

"What about how Lois raised Emily?" One executive asked.

"Or maybe how Joyce Kinney does her report to bring awareness for the poor kids?" Another executive asked.

"Those are good ones." The head executive said. "Do either of you have any more?"

"What about having her film herself for porn like Lois did?" The third executive asked.

"NO!" The head executive shouted. "We're not doing that, Need I remind you about the condition? It wasn't the same since we lost the employees for the urinary and fecal shift."

"Yeah? What is wrong with you, Phil?" The executive who sat next to the third one asked.

"Sorry." Phil said as he looked down in shame.

"Try and think of something else." The head executive said. "Those other two are good though. Let's go with those ones."

Then, Emily thought of something and turned to Brian.

"I think I got it, Brian." Emily said. "It just might work..."

Emily turned to Joyce and Lois.

"Aunt Joyce, didn't you do your report to bring awareness for the poor kids?" Emily asked.

"I did." Joyce replied. "I spread the awareness to gain support for those poor unfortunate souls..."

"And I did get involved by donating..." Lois said.

"Not that we need it from you..." Joyce muttered to Lois.

Lois felt offended by Joyce's comment.

"I was trying to be generous so the negative side of me can be forever forgotten." Lois retorted. "And you couldn't let go of the past reminding everyone who I was, and you should've seen the perspectives of my life."

"Plus, ever since Emily arrived here, I have done a good job raising her." Lois added.

"And how so?" Joyce asked. "Treating her like Cinderella's step-mother?"

"She never does that to me." Emily said.

"I treat her like she's my own daughter." Lois stated.

"And she couldn't help what she did." Emily added. "She may have valid reasons for her behavior, I mean, everyone does. But from what I've experienced by living with her and learning though her past times, was that she used to live with a snooty father who only cares about the pleasures of being rich."

"I resent that." Carter said.

"Lois did those things because she wanted to know how it felt to be free and happy." Emily said. "And I'm sure she did those because she wanted to rebel her life as a Pewterschmidt. Plus, she has a daughter named Meg, and she has been treated like you when you were back in high school. I'm making sure that my sister won't end up becoming the next you who won't let go of her past."

"I know Lois Griffin isn't my real mother," Emily added. "But she treats me like a great mom, and don't you forget it. She has helped me with the situations I've been through."

Joyce took a few moments to think about what Emily said.

'Maybe Emily is right...' Joyce thought.

"This is what I've been going through over the years..." Lois said.

Joyce looked at Lois with a sympathetic look on her face.

"I'm starting to think you had more reason than I thought." Joyce said.

"Well, that's what I've been saying to you when I found out that we've known each other at high school." Lois replied.

Emily smelt something coming from the kitchen.

"I hate to break the conversation," Emily said. "But isn't there something important that you must do in the kitchen?"

"Oh my God!" Lois yelled as she ran into the kitchen.

Lois opened the oven and smoke shot out.

"Oh God..." Lois said. "I hope our ham is alright."

Lois covered her hand with the oven mitt and pulled the ham out of the oven. The ham looked just fine. Just then, the water sprinkler turned on.

"Oh no! Someone, turn the water sprinkler off!" Lois shouted.

"Oh boy! A huge shower!" Stewie shouted excitedly. "Hope this soothes the itches."

Unfortunately, Meg turned off the water sprinkler.

"No no no!" Stewie yelled.

Lois walked back to the living room.

"Now, where were we?" Lois asked.

"Helping me get this sweater off of me?" Stewie said.

Lois looked at Joyce.

"Joyce, I know that I was mean to you in high school, but I think that we should put the past behind us." Lois said.

Lois formed a small smile on her face.

"So, what do you say, Joyce?" Lois asked as she extended her hand. "Friends?"

Joyce took Lois's hand and shook it.

"Friends." Joyce said as she smiled.

She turned her head to see her step-nephew, Stewie in a Christmas sweater while wearing a reindeer headband and a red ball on his nose.

"Do you suppose I could get out of this ridiculous sweater now?" Stewie asked.

Just then, his diaper started to sag due to the water from the sprinklers.

"Oh my God, he's so cute!" Joyce exclaimed.

"And itchy." Stewie added.

"That's Stewie, your step-nephew." Emily said.

"I've seen him before." Joyce said. "He was there when I met Lois years before you moved in."

"Fancy that you remembered." Stewie said. "But you're ignoring the fact I'm itchy here! Seriously Emily, why are you not listening?"

"Mom, Stewie sounds a little cranky. I'm going to see what the problem is." Emily said as she took Stewie and walked upstairs.

"Stewie, why do you always complain about the sweaters?" Emily asked. "You know you look cute in it."

"Do I even care about being cute?" Stewie asked sternly.

"Alright Stewie, if the sweater really bothers you, I'll give you something more comfortable to wear." Emily said.

"Finally..." Stewie said. "Also, that sprinkler system downstairs got me soaked and my diaper's sagging down."

"Oh, don't worry. I can fix that." Emily said as they entered Stewie's room.

Emily placed Stewie on the changing table and removed the sweater. Emily gasped. There were a bunch of red marks on Stewie's chest and stomach.

"Wow..." Emily said. "I never seen so much rug burns on you."

"These aren't rug burns! These are rashes I developed from that poison ivy cursed sweater!" Stewie shouted.

"It's actually made of wool." Emily said as she walked to a closet and took out some ointment.

She walked up to Stewie and squirted some ointment into her hand.

"Now, hold still." Emily advised.

"It itches so much..." Stewie murmured.

"Don't worry, Stewie. The rashes will go away soon." Emily assured as she rubbed the ointment on Stewie's chest.

"Man, I hate itchy sweaters..." Stewie said. "Worse than scorpions in my pants."

Emily was finished putting some ointment on Stewie's chest and stomach.

"Done! Now, let's get that diaper changed as we wait for the ointment to sink into your skin." Emily said.

"At least I didn't use it… yet." Stewie said.

Emily took off the diaper that Stewie was wearing and got a new one.

"Let's get this on you now." Emily said before putting the new diaper on Stewie.

"There we go. Now, let me go get something for you to wear." Emily said.

"Please let it be not itchy." Stewie said as he closed his eyes.

Emily got a shirt from the closet and slipped the shirt onto Stewie. Stewie opened his eyes to find himself in an elf shirt. Stewie sighed in relief.

"That's more like it..." Stewie said.

Back downstairs, everyone was conversing with each other. Meg noticed Cookie Monster at the window. Meg drew the curtains at the window.

"Aw, come on!" Cookie Monster complained behind the blinds.

Lois saw Emily coming downstairs with Stewie.

"Emily, can you help with me something in the kitchen?" Lois asked.

"Sure, mom." Emily said.

She walked up to Joyce and gave Stewie to her.

"What happened to your sweater?" Joyce asked.

"It was too itchy for me, so Emily put me in this shirt." Stewie answered.

Emily walked into the kitchen.

"What is it, Mom?" Emily asked.

"Could you help me put the food on the dining table? The Christmas dinner is almost ready." Lois said.

"Sure." Emily said.

She saw that Peter was about to take one of the cookies.

"Dad! No! You know the rules! Dinner, then dessert!" Emily scolded.

"Aww... you're no fun." Peter pouted.

"Could you please tell everyone to sit at the dining room table? It's almost time for Christmas dinner." Emily said.

"Fine..." Peter said.

He grabbed a large drumstick and banged a gong. Everyone heard it and walked to the dining room.

"Where did you get that gong?" Brian asked.

"I stole it from a Chinese restaurant." Peter answered.

 **CUTAWAY**

At the Chinese restaurant, the cook walked up to the cooking table and found that the gong was gone.

"Where the hell is my gong?!" The cook shouted with rage.

 **CUTAWAY ENDS**

At the Griffin house, everyone was sitting at the dining room table.

"I'm glad everyone's here." Lois stated.

"Me too, mom." Emily said.

"So, who wants to carve the turkey?" Peter asked.

"I will!" Chris said.

However, Chris grabbed the knife by holding the blade.

"Ow!" Chris shouted in pain.

"Chris, I warned you to hold the handle." Lois said sternly.

"It hurts so much!" Chris whined.

Lois sighed and looked at the knife.

"Ugh... there's blood on the knife." Lois said with worry and disgust.

"Don't worry, I'll wash it off." Brian said.

Brian took the knife and walked to the kitchen. He washed the blood off the knife in the sink. Brian came back with the knife all clean. After he gave it back to Lois, Lois carved the turkey. Then, she put a piece of turkey on everyone's plate.

"This looks delicious." Cleveland commented.

"Thanks, Cleveland." Lois thanked.

"Pity Joe won't be joining us..." Quagmire said.

"I wonder how he's doing there." Peter said.

 **CUTAWAY**

At Alaska, Joe is spending the holiday with his family. However, Joe and his family are trapped in a cabin due to a massive snowstorm.

"So this is what the Alaskan frontier is like." Joe said.

 **CUTAWAY ENDS**

Back at the Griffin house where everyone is eating.

"Everyone enjoying the dinner so far?" Peter asked.

"Absolutely." Quagmire answered.

"Delicious." Joyce commented.

"I'll say." Cleveland said.

Everyone else agreed.

"Anyone ready for dessert?" Lois asked.

"I am!" Peter answered.

Lois brought the desserts to the table. Everyone began feasting on the desserts.

* * *

A few hours later, the Christmas party was over. The Griffins were saying goodbye to their friends and family.

"Thank you for coming." Lois said as she hugged her parents.

"No problem." Barbara said as she and Carter left.

"Thanks for coming, Glenn." Lois said to Quagmire.

"No problem." Quagmire said. "And thanks for letting me take some leftovers."

"You're welcome." Lois said as Quagmire walked over to his house.

"Thank you so much for coming, Cleveland." Peter thanked.

"No problem, Peter." Cleveland said before walking back to his house with his family.

Joyce walked up to Lois.

"Joyce," Lois said. "I am truly very sorry for my actions, why don't we just forget all about it and call it a truce?"

"Sure." Joyce said.

Joyce and Lois hugged each other.

"Glad you finally got along." Emily stated.

Joyce left and Lois closed the door.

"That was a fun Christmas party!" Emily commented.

"Even though it felt way too early." Brian said.

"Why do you say that?" Stewie asked.

"It's mid-December." Brian answered.

"So? It's still Christmas time." Emily said.

"That is true." Brian said.

Emily turned to the readers.

"Well, Merry Christmas everybody!" Emily said joyfully.

"I hope you viewers are enjoying the holidays, whichever one you celebrate, Christmas, Kwanza, Hanukkah." Emily added.

Emily started singing 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas'. Soon, the whole family joined her. As they sang, the camera slowly zoomed out of the house though the window.

* * *

 **A/N: That was Episode 6 of Family Guy EG! Hope you liked this chapter! See you next chapter! Merry Christmas! Please review!**


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